A Mother's prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank you for making me a mama. It's all I dreamt of and more. My children are a beautiful mess. They're good and kind and I am trying to teach them about prayer. I know Brooks prayed for a dinosaur phone last night. Sorry about that. I love how whatever we are doing, he makes it his own.

Please watch over Brooks and Luke. Finding my husband and the gift of these boys....they are the best things that have ever happened to me. I pray that my husband wins all his football games for the rest of his life. I know that's probably too much to ask so I'll take 75%. Please watch over those boys of mine Lord, in the swimming pool always, on the playground climbing high things and especially that spider net climbing thing, when they are faced with that big first-time decision to follow or lead, and every time they are faced with the decision to be kind or mean. When they eat McDonalds, let it pass through their body quickly and not linger. Please let them avoid bug bites, bee stings, and most hurt in the world, but I suppose they need a little to grow.

They didn't get to choose their mama. I pray they only hate me a little, just when they are teenagers and I kiss them at drop off. I pray they secretly want to marry someone just like me. A little bit of a hot mess, mostly fun, who lets her mother in law visit whenever she wants. Because I am going to visit you boys all.the.time. I pray they do find love, and it's the kind of love that you get lost in and fight for and they laugh and laugh and laugh. I pray they have children, just the right amount for them, and that moment changes their life for the better just like the gifts you gave me. I pray that I continue to raise them up to follow you and that they want that for their children as well, more than anyone else.

Please help with my worry Lord. I worry every second that they are happy. That something is going to happen to them and I am not going to be there to fix it and prevent it and cocoon them. That I cuddled them enough. That they are going to good people. Help me to put down my phone when it's important and lay on the floor and get lost in a puzzle. Help me to read that Harry and the Bucket full of dinosaurs for the 1,456th time. I don't want to read that book anymore. But I pray you help me to read it with energy at least 200 more times. Give me patience, especially when their little wiry bodies climb into my bed at 3 in the morning. I know they need me, and I pray you help me not get frustrated that they are like a hot little octopus in bed with me slapping me in the face. Help me to brush their hair to the side and rub their back so they fall into that deep sleep where their balloon bellies barely move.

Thank you for making me a mom Lord. I pray your presence is with me in the car line when I am frustrated, at the park when there are mean mommies, in all the most important questions they ask me along the way, and most importantly, continuing to guide me in my marriage to the best man in the world. My relationship with him is the most wonderful gift I can give my kids, and I know the very best thing he has done for our family is show my boys how to treat a wife.

Sometimes I have days where my patience is so thin and I feel like the blind leading the blind. I scold more than I should, I yell more than I ever wanted to, and I feel like I am screwing up this incredible gift you gave me. Please be with me most in these moments. These little people are the finest, loveliest people I have ever known, and I want so badly to do this right.

"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6

xoxo Big Mama