Back at it

A friend came up to me at the YMCA the other day and said, "friend why don't you blog more, I miss reading it!" It was so nice and I need these little pick me ups just like anyone else, and I thought, gosh I really need to start again. So when we were chatting I explained to her that usually just have an hour break in the day when my kids might overlap on their afternoon rests, and to be completely honest, while I could probably work on a novel every day, I either stare at the wall, do laundry, eat a sandwich or watch the Real Housewives or the Duggers. I'm not proud of it but that is the truth. She went on to explain that she so enjoyed my blog that she would literally read about what I do in my daily boring life because it's entertaining to her. She's so sweet! And since I find the practice of writing and getting my thoughts "pen to paper"to be very cathartic for me and my stay-at-home mom brain, I thought, I can do that, get back to every day posts, even if they are short. THAT WAS 2 MONTHS AGO!

Gah, really I always intend to blog and something always seems to come up. Currently I am blogging alongside my coworker for today, Matthew. Matthew is a plumber and he is currently working on our master toilet. Buckle yourselves in and get a coffee because this is a fun story. We have Matthew here today because while I was cooking dinner recently my 3 and 1 year old little boys played one of their favorite games, stick an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet and keep flushing it. It was the classic "it's been silent too long," scenario, and when I ran into our room and heard giggles and rushing water, I braced myself for the fun. It wasn't too bad that day since nobody had pooped but it also wasn't any fun. While my chicken burned I cleaned up the insane mess and I was so mad I honestly didn't pay attention to where the kids were. I figured they were either mopping up alongside me or watching me and feeling terribly, horribly guilty about their actions. I was very, very wrong. 

Again, the silence presented itself and then, a loud cry from the younger of the two crazy humans that I call my children. My older little boy Brooks recently learned how to lock doors and I will just say right now this is going to get him into trouble more than once. He and the younger brother had been playing in the baby's room and he thought it would be super fun to leave the baby in his room, lock the door and run out. So after mopping up the toilet explosion I walking out to the smell of burning dinner, and my baby screaming in a locked bedroom with my 3 year old outside the door yelling to him "It'll be ok Luke, you're just locked in.....sorry!" *This is why I buy boxed wine.

So there is a little metal hook we have that is for opening the doors in our house when they are locked and it's really not that hard. However, between scolding my 3 year old for being so naughty and purposely trying to scare him a little about what he had done in hopes that he doesn't do it again, and my baby screaming and growing more frantic, my whole body was covered in sweat and it took me long enough to open the door that I texted my husband "CALL ME EMERGENCY," and I am not gonna lie, I was about 3 minutes away from calling 911. (I have called 911 before. I'm sure our neighbors think our house is just a box of crazy. I thought my 1 year old had swallowed a dime, they came, he was smiling and laughing and fine. I still wasn't convinced and took him to the emergency room and even got x-rays. Lots of monies and time later, the kid is fine. We even met a very sweet little girl who swallowed a barbie shoe, so if I ever have a girl, I know what to fear.)

Finally I popped the lock and luckily my 1 year old was just sitting on the floor looking very sad, not inspecting the plugs in the room. So, this is my week, locked bedrooms and plumbers and loads of fun. To add the mania, my husband hasn't been around this week because he was asked to speak to season ticket holders on Monday and had to travel for a pro Day Tuesday and Wednesday, so I get to do all this glamorous stuff by myself.

This is my super cute husband explaining candy cane routes to all the Dolphins ticket holders. Or something. I could probably use a few lessons. He's lucky he's cute because I can barely ever stay mad at him for missing all the car toilet drama, once he gets home he always fools me with his hunkyness and axe spray, yum!

So, friends, this is my life. I am sitting here in my workout clothes from this morning, I am gross and sweaty, and I'm considering the rare afternoon cup of coffee because when Matt the plumber is done and my kids wake up we really need to go to Wal Mart for solo cups, trash bags and laundry detergent.

Update, my 1 year old woke up from his nap screaming and I need to go get him but I'm trying to finish this blog because he will probably turn off the computer below me while I'm blogging and I'll lose it all and cry. Also, Matthew the plumber has found 1 car in the toilet so far while snaking it and says that he can tell there are so many more toys in there he is going to have to remove the toilet to get them out and reattach the toilet to the wall. This will cost $250 so that leapord romper I really want from Forever21 is going to have to wait and it will probably sell out and all my dreams of looking effortlessly fabulous in said romper are being flushed down the drain. Or our clogged toilet. UGH!

Update number 2: both children awake and a car and a train were found in the toilet. These are pictures of my super glamorous life so you can be jealous.

The last picture is the 3 year old getting lectures on the whole "toys down the toilet, mommy doesn't get her leopard romper," thing. I actually think it was the baby though because he is crazy about his cars and I am pretty sure he would have acted like a lunatic if one went down the toilet. So I'll have to have a separate lecture with that kid. They are currently eating microwavable macaroni and organic grapes in the kitchen while I finish this blog so I better go before there are more toys in toilets and locked doors. I'm really going to try to be better about blogging, stay tuned and check back in for more chapters in Sarah's glamorous life.