Following the fun Wednesday adventures of having our toilet removed from the wall, I guess God decided to give me a break and give me a fabulous Thursday and Friday. Thursday we just worked at the church in the morning and then I got to go to the outlets with my mom and my sister all afternoon! It was fabulous, is there anything better than girl time!? It's days like these I want a girl so bad. My mom and sister and I sat at the Cheesecake Factory giggling about girly things for a few hours and roamed in and out of stores and I wasn't looking at my watch because my babysitter was free, my husband! My mom bought me this adorable dress and I think I might wear it to Easter service tomorrow. I have to volunteer in the 1 year old room first though, and it is a lot of sitting down and getting up and down, so I tend to wear pants, but I'm anxious to wear this cute dress! It's still online at the jcrew factory site and on sale for $53! It runs big if you are going to splurge :)
Thankfully my husband is a saint and took the boys to Lion Country Safari on Friday, his day off. This place is pretty cool, and about 1 hour away from our house. You get to drive through a safari-like setting first and see all the animals, and then your ticket buys you entry into a fairly nice theme park with rides and a petting zoo. I have been a couple times with the boys and at the risk of sounding like a total Debbie Downer I would probably rather be sedated at the dentist. It's wonderful to see Brooks so happy but it's usually about 105 degrees in the shade and smells like animal poop everywhere.
Something about hot theme parks always seem to bring out the grumpy in me. Everyone around me suddenly seems way more trashy than me and I feel like I'm by far the classiest person in a 100-mile radius. Then, I realize I also stink and have huge pit stains and last time, I was still nursing so with the enormous leakage of breast milk all over my shirt, I realize I fit right in. And then I want to cry. It's usually about then that I see Brooks pet a goat and immediately lick his hand. They are good for about 2 hours and I feel proud of myself for taking them and then they have the most epic meltdowns as soon as we hit the car and I want to pass out. Why are kids always so naughty right after you have done something wonderful for them? I always end up repeatedly saying in my "you're in trouble" voice, "Fine then we won't go anywhere fun anymore because clearly you don't appreciate it!" Then I curse myself for the hour drive home that I should never take them anywhere because they are just as happy getting slurpees at 7-11. My husband's brain just doesn't seem to work like that so I guess I'll let him continue the solo safari trips....
While the boys were away, this momma go to play. I get my hair done about every 4-5 months but I think I'm finally going to have to give in and start going every 8-10 weeks. My hair is getting darker and when the roots come in I get depressed because I can then see light hairs within my dark hairs and they are not highlights - they are grays. Yes I have plucked about 5 grays and subsequently cried myself to sleep.
Between that and the deepening line between my eyebrows I just want to curl into a ball and pretend I'm 28 again. If you are anywhere from 21-29 enjoy this time!! These are the best years of your life as far as your body and it's just going SWIFTLY downhill from here. Heck, if you're alone, go look at yourself naked in the mirror. Yes, now. Remember this day. It's a good day. You know when your car works great for like 4 years in a row and you start to even maybe feel a little over-confident about how you never have to go get it fixed? This is what it's like to turn 29. At first it's just replacing a tire or two, then all of a sudden the mechanic is talking to you about replacing parts you didn't even know existed and all of a sudden your car is so broken down and your savings is gone. That is what is happening to my 30-something body. If I even look at a donut my bottom grows. I hadn't had a donut in months and the other day in the grocery store, something came over me that was literally uncontrollable and I ate 3 krispy kremes walking around the store. There's something very ironic about buying organic lettuce while shoving donuts in your face. During this donut show down, a middle aged man approached me and said, "boy you have a healthy appetite, I have been watching you." OH DEAR GOD is anyone listening or around me! Then he just awkwardly lingered while I wiped icing on my workout pants. I still don't know if that was a pick up line or what. Either way, I had to eat nothing but cucumbers and stone ground mustard for a week to work off that donut binge because I'm 30 and times are rough. Just kidding, I wish I had that discipline but I don't.
Anywho, There is almost no cuter look then when you're at the salon about to get your hair done. I have usually let mine get so bad and the roots so grown out that everyone looks at me sympathetically when I walk in like I'm a charity case who won the highlights at the school festival. Here are a few pictures of myself in the chair before and during.
And after! Selfie in the car like the crazy mom that I am, because I knew within 10 minutes of being home someone was going to slime smushed banana in my hair. Isn't that crazy. I wasn't going to put these up because quite frankly it's embarrassing, but it also feels sort of liberating. Sort of like I'm one of those brave soldier moms who posts pictures of their 3-days postpartum belly to prove you really do still look pregnant afterwards.
Right after I took that creepy selfie of myself in the car and immediately whiplashed my neck looking around making sure nobody saw me being that lame, I saw this lady outside of the salon across the street. I couldn't help myself, I had to take a picture.
When I have the head full of foils I want to melt into the ground and keep looking in the mirror thinking, wow I would look really terrible bald. I would never leave the salon and walk out into real life where people can see me! It was sort of gloomy yesterday and all I could think about was what if it started to lightening!? Girlfriend would be set into a blaze of fire. Also, she is lighting up a cigarette. omgeeee I can't decide if I want to be this lady's friend because she's so ridiculous or if I want to save her actual friend next to her.
Also, I just want all my readers to know I went ahead and ordered that leopard romper. I was feeling sassy and since it's from Forever21 it was $22.80. Here is a link in case you also feel like you might want to look like Nicole Richie in the 90s......
http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?Br=F21&Category=Jumpsuit_Romper&ProductID=2000126382&VariantID=
I have no idea why I wanted that thing so bad but I did. I love the romper trend and think it is so cute. Sometimes I think they might make me look a little silly yet I continue to get them.
We are heading out tonight to a Miami Marlins vs. Seattle Mariners baseball game. I am excited! One of my best friends, Camden, who I met while attending grad school at Nebraska, now works at the Mariners and always completely spoils my boys with neat Mariners stuff. Brooks has a really cool mini baseball bat, tons of Mariners clothes, and she just mailed them hats for this game. We decided to drop Luke off at my moms because he is by far the more difficult one at stuff like this, and Brooks will actually probably sit and watch it. Even last football season he was very interested in the games and if it weren't for crazy Luke I could have easily watched every game with him in the stands and he would watch the whole thing (and only ask me for fruit snacks about 21 times).
Finally, I'm working on a good tag line that I can end my blogs with. I always drone on I think, because I'm not sure how to wrap the darn thing up. So I'm going to try on a few for size here today.....see which one fits?
Talk to you soon, dear readers!
Good night, Miami (this one is dumb because we actually live in Weston on the Everglades. Good night swamps?)
Would it be fun to sound off with an important life question to keep readers thinking - i.e. Has Britney Spears completely recovered or will we see another breakdown from her?
Flabby and Fabulous, Sarah
Which one do you like?
I'm sitting here with tears still in my eyes from the Nicole Ritchie / romper paragraph...
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of the dear readers line sign off as it reminds me of Communism (dear leader.) I'm a huge fan of ending with a crazy life question for 2 reasons: 1) I've no doubt you'll invent some great ones, and 2) it's a tactical way to get more comments!
For instance, I would argue that darling Britney will never recover, though I doubt we'll SEE another breakdown, although turning 40 may inspire a reprise...too son to tell.