Have you had your placenta today?

For some reason I have been dreading this post but I'm really not sure why!? I want to write about my decision to eat my placenta after this birth because it's interesting, and everyone seems to have an opinion about it one way or another. However, as funny as it could possibly be, my reasons for deciding to eat said placenta aren't really funny at all.

I decided to do this after a lot of research into the benefits of it, but also because I experienced a LOT of sadness after the birth of my first son Brooks. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I had postpartum depression because I was lucky enough to have a lot of help from my in laws, my mom, my husband, good friends - so I wasn't ever in a state true depression, and luckily I was able to avoid taking any kind of medicine. However, I wasn't in a great place either. Having a child is hard work, and the adjustment to your life afterwards is even harder. 

I know I am extremely fortunate to be able to stay at home with my 2 boys all day, but that doesn't mean that it was easy from day 1 and that every day is all happiness, sunshine and coloring books. Talking for 12 hours a day about what the zebra says (I'm sorry but what in the heck does a zebra say!?!?! I usually end up saying in a squeaky voice "I have stripes!") is a huge adjustment from working in a buzzing office and getting to talk to people (over the age of 2) every day. That's not even to mention the fact that new moms are dealing with body issues, hormones that are all over the map, and what I feel is an ever-increasing insanity of being today's "perfect mom."

Aaaah. To be a perfect mom in 2012. I am so far from it I can't even really pin down exactly what she is. But I have some examples....

*She is a size 4 and attends Pilates on Monday/Wednesdays and cardio fusion on Tuesday/Thursdays. She's chipper and cute and always has on blush.

*She has signed her children up for Spanish and Mandarin. She plans to begin lessons soon so she can help more.

*She never raises her voice and somehow follows 8 different parenting books each in perfect harmony.

Here's where I'm at:

*I work out when I can and on the days I am able to I end up spending that entire day in my stinky workout clothes 95% of the time. My 2 year old calls my stomach, when visible because I'm nursing my 10 week old, "Mama's squishy belly." I am usually chipper on Fridays.

*I'm just trying to get Brooks to be able to speak English.

*Every day brings a constant struggle not to yell at my 2 beautiful children "You are making momma crazy!" On days when I don't, I feel awesome.

But with all that being said, prayer has brought me to one very important realization: I am the perfect mom for Brooks and Luke. I do believe God chose me to be their mom and that I'm the best one for them. And there is some wonderful peace in that! I think I came to this peace through a lot of prayer, encouragement from a great husband, and 72 pills I have dubbed my "happy pills." 

SO yes. I am that granola lady who ate my placenta! I hired someone to come over to my house, and dehydrate my placenta, which my husband literally walked out of the hospital room with it in a bucket emblazoned with the words "bio hazardous material." He brought it home and stuck it in our fridge like it was deli meat. In case you are wondering, it looks pretty much like I thought it would, which is pretty frightening. It looks like a human organ.

Immediately after giving birth to Luke, Zac made a joke, asking me if I was hungry - of course I replied yes, I'm always hungry, then he motioned over to the counter where my placenta was lying. Literally I am still on the operating table! I had a natural birth but I gave birth in the operating room because by the time I got there I had Luke within about 45 minutes and there weren't any rooms available. Funny memories :)

Anywho, once the placenta was home, the woman I hired for "placenta encapsulation" came over to my house to dehydrate it. I am going to post just this picture to save my readers from horror because really this just looks like beef jerky :)

After it was fully dry, she ground up the placenta in a magic bullet, just like she was running an infomercial on how to make the best smoothies. By this time I was home with my new baby and my mood was all over the place. One minute I was ecstatic, looking at him and cooing, the next I felt like I could pass out for a week. It's extremely challenging to come home with a new baby to a rambunctious and confused 2 year old, and I don't think you can really prepare yourself, you just sort of have to dive in and do it.

Once the placenta was ground up into a fine powder, she the powder into clear gel caps and made 72 pills that I could take at my discretion. She said the typical placenta makes about 40-50 pills so of course I was proud of my apparently huge placenta, whatever that means. Maybe that explains why I was enormous at the end of my pregnancy!

The typical cycle is to take 2 pills a day for 2-3 weeks and slowly wean off them and just take them "as needed." I just took 2 a day for 2 weeks, and have since only taken 1 on days when I felt more down or tired. From everything I read, the point of doing this is you are flushed with so many hormones while you are pregnant, and once you have given birth, all those hormones are gone and the drastic decrease in them as well as all the blood/iron you lose can cause huge mood fluctuations. The placenta is literally full of everything good you needed for your baby and basically, we are the only culture in the world who DOESN'T do this. Just as I suspected, the pills made me have a much more balanced feeling post-birth than I had with Brooks. 

There were days after Brooks' birth that I can really only describe as feeling like you are drowning. Even though I loved him more than anything and I felt very grateful to be at home with him there were times I felt like I didn't want my life at all. In today's world it's so hard because there is so much pressure to be a perfect mom, nobody wants to admit that it's just hard, and sometimes it might not be what you expected. This was the challenge for me. I had to figure out this "new normal" in my life, and just the same, I now have to figure out my "new normal" with 2, and it is isn't easy. 

The best thing we can do for each other as moms is just be a little easier on ourselves. Be a little easier on your friends! If they cancel on you for coffee, assume they're at home banging their head against the wall. Because they might be! Let's watch out for each other a little more. Let's give each other a few more hugs a day. Let's bring each other coffee from Starbucks when we are having a good day and share our good mood. We are all in this together!