I have a problem and I've got to shout about it. In my world, especially during football season, there are two little people and there are me. There is my husband, but because we get to see him so seldom, there are 3 people that are my main focus, and those people include my boys Brooks and Luke, and myself. Now don't get me wrong, during the 18 minutes I get with my husband alone each week, I am smothering him like a bear to honey. I swear I am getting to my point. I miss my husband.
My point is, as a coaches wife, it's very common to go through the motions of being a single mom for 6-7 months out of the year and forget to do things for yourself. Yes, I'm talking to myself, who hasn't washed her hair since last Thursday. I want to shout it from the rooftops (of Paris) that it is ok for moms to take a moment for themselves.
So here is where my issue comes in. It has come to my attention in recent years that anytime I mention doing something for myself, to keep my sanity, during these insane football months, or anytime of year quite frankly, it is usually met with a response like, "wow, that's crazy," or "oh my, I could never do that!" I'm not talking about jaunting off on a cruise to Greece either. I'm talking about a Saturday babysitter for 3 hours, a bath while they're awake but mildly entertained (thanks, SpongeBob!), or maybe picking up dinner for yourself and cooking them chicken nuggets (they don't touch the organic chicken and rice at my salad spot anyway, why waste $9??).
Let me be clear about one thing - my children are my priority, right after Jesus and my husband (happy wife, equals happy wife, equals happy kids. trust me). But that doesn't mean that taking a moment for myself while struggling to manage it all should be met with anything but a pat on my own back. I truly believe God wanted us to enjoy things in life and I want to stop the madness of mom guilt!
Of course when we are struggling through these bridges in motherhood and entering different phases, we go back to how our mothers did it. My mom says now she wishes she would have given herself more opportunities to take a break, which helps ease the guilt I feel. But one thing I think she did amazingly as a mother is teach us self sufficiency. I now have a 3 and 5 year old, and thank God, they are fairly self sufficient for a time period of about 30 minutes. But I do believe I have taught them that, and I do believe they know I expect that of them. So if it's been a particularly bad Thursday, and I haven't seen my husband since the previous Friday, I might need a bath at 6 p.m. And by golly if mommy needs it, then she should be able to find a way to get it. That might mean that I feed and bathe and pajama them, and turn on a show for 30 minutes, or set up crayons, But I will not feel one second of guilt for that soapy warm escape, because it allows me to emerge refreshed, happy, and I hope, teaches my kids that mommy might need a second sometimes, and that's ok.
I have overheard my older son tell my younger son on multiple occasions things like
"Luke, Mom is about to lose her mind and I can tell trust me. Be good."
"Luke let's clean up these toys because remember mom will be happy."
"Luke, if we are good I bet mom will take us to the park."
And ya wanna know what? I DON'T FEEL THE LEAST BIT GUILTY. It is ok for them to know that I might get frustrated, have a bad day, or even miss my husband. These are normal human emotions and the best part is that I can show them that I can have a bad day and still move on. Function anyway. Make dinner anyway. That is life, and it's ok to not be perfect, hair blown out, perky booty, amazing elf on the shelf mom 100% of the time. Heck my favorite saying from a beautiful mom friend I have is "we survived today. Seriously. Nobody died today." I just love you Dorothy!
Today's society is full of amazing moms who are doing it all and I commend you. It is a hard job no matter how you shake it down, whether you work in a corporate setting, a part time job, work from home, or your job is full time motherhood. Being a parent is hard work, and there is no shame in needing moments for yourself.
I know what detractors and critics could and may say about this blog write up. That someday, I'll be old and gray, sitting in my house alone and I'll miss their sticky fingers and gummy smiles. And I will regret terribly that I didn't get to give every single bath, play every single game of tag, and give out every single kiss on the cheek. But the truth is I don't regret any of it so far. I don't regret any babysitter that I have been fortunate enough to have love on my kids. I don't regret the beautiful Mother's Helper who is with my kids in the family room right now. I can hear their giggles, and writing makes me feel whole. I feel incredibly blessed that my husband makes enough that it's not a financial struggle to have her over. I think that it is good for Brooks to see me "having time in your room to do your computer stuff." This means my child sees me taking care of myself as needed. And I pray that someday he marries somebody who never stops sparkling to him, and he counts the hours until the babysitter arrives to take her on dates. And he reminds her that it's ok to have over a Mother's Helper and shut the bedroom door for some quiet time. She will emerge renewed. Refreshed. Ready to take on the rest of the day and greet him at the door with a big kiss.
To all my mom friends, I pray this holiday season brings you time to relax. Set the kiddos up with that Captain Crunch in the bowl and don't think twice about it. Draw yourself a bath and remind them that moms need little breaks now and then. Close your eyes and listen to them giggle and talk to each other and pat yourself on the back. You're doing a great job, and you deserve it.
xoxo Big Mama
Big Mama Taylor Blog
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Here goes nothing
I have spent a few months feeling sorry for myself, wondering if I would ever write this post. I knew that I would at some point come on here, and hammer out a few sentences, hoping it would be therapeutic, as writing so often is for me. I might save it for a month or two. I might erase it. I might save it forever and read it sometimes. But sharing it is a whole different story.
However, as time goes on, I know that I have to share it. Not for any reason except that I hope it will help me heal a little more. And also, maybe someday, somewhere, it will resonate with someone else, and help them too.
Anyone that knows our family knows that we would love to have one more child. If you see me in stressed out moments you might even wonder why. Hehe. But deep down, in the depths of my soul, I feel that there is another child out there for me. When we first got married, I really pictured us with 4 kids. My husband is one of 4, and I am one of 5, so I just imagined we would be the same. As we have created our own family, and I realize my strengths and weaknesses, coupled with my husband's job as a football coach, I honestly don't know that I am equipped to handle 4. I do not know how you did it, Mom! So I have started to just really put that in God's hands. But I do know that I would give anything to have just one more.
About 17 months ago my husband and I went on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Italy. We left our three year old and one year old for 7 days and it was hard and wonderful. I will always be thankful for that adventure we had. I was thankful that I missed my babies as much as I did. I am thankful we had the money to do that, and that my parents blessed us at a young age so that we did. We went on the trip with a purpose: do something outrageous and wild and slightly financially irresponsible before we have our third kid. I just assumed we would return from Italy, and within a few months, I would be pregnant again, with another 2 to 2 1/2 year age gap between the next one and our younger one. It did not occur to me that this wouldn't happen.
But here we are. It's August....over a year later......and our baby is almost 3. And I am sitting here writing this with tears streaming down my face and the heaviest heart I have ever had. I am so sad that we haven't been able to have another one. We did get pregnant once, and we lost that baby. I have told some people. If you know me, you probably know I am an open book. I will tell you if I am cranky, if I have gas, my whole life story, whatever you want. But I have been a little more guarded about this. Slowly I have started to tell people, but the words are usually out of my mouth before I have thought them through and I don't even know why I am saying them. Some days I want to pretend that I never had this happen to me. That I am perfectly fertile with golden eggs and I could have 82 children if I so chose to. And other days I want to scream from the mountain tops that I know what you feel like. Anyone who has struggled to get pregnant or has laid in their bed curled up and sobbed until your face hurt after losing a baby. I know you. I get it.
As I have struggled through different emotions since our miscarriage I have realized several things. I am beyond lucky, and grateful, to have two beautiful children. I can't imagine my life without them and I don't remember my life before them. They are gorgeous, hilarious, and way more than I deserve. The depth of my appreciation for my children is deeper now that I have endured loss. I should be thankful for that. I have met people and I know people who have endured losses and I know stories I wish were not true. I miscarried early on in the pregnancy and actually never heard a heartbeat. In some ways that's better. I hadn't told many people and I didn't have more time to get attached. But in other ways it makes my mind crazier. What happened and why did it not work? What did I do wrong?
So I drink less coffee. I run less. I track everything. I track if I lose a darn hair off of my head I swear. I pray more than I ever have in my gosh darn life. I pray more on my knees than I ever imagined I would. And that's good. It's easy to say that maybe that's what God wanted for me. To feel the appreciation for my 2 beautiful children. To realize the miracle they are. To stop and appreciate what I have. I have so much. Maybe he needed me to pray more. I pray in bed. I pray in the car. I pray while I exercise. I pray while I watch TV. I am the ultimate multi-tasking prayer.
My husband has of course been a saint. He would do anything for me. I will miss him this fall when I have bad days. I miss his hands the most. They are huge and they make me feel safe. I love laying in bed with him without the TV on and talking. He makes me feel calmer and I am afraid for nights when he works until midnight and I feel the world is caving in.
I know I need to carry on and get over it. When I am busy, really really busy, I even go a few hours without thinking about it. And then it creeps back in. Not being busy is not good for me. I let my mind wander to your due date. Would you have been a boy or girl? I do not care. I know you would have been so special. How can you miss someone you don't know? But I do. For about one month afterwards I would dream and see a face. It was like in an ultrasound, fuzzy and wavy, and you don't really know what it would look like. But it was sweet.
I went out to dinner with my 2 best friends about 6 weeks ago and we met a clairvoyant lady who "read us." She approached us, and without us saying a word, she asked me if I had recently miscarried, and that it was a boy, and he was in the room. I felt wonderful and angry and a million things.
My lowest points usually come curled into a ball of self pity in bed and my highest points usually come on runs. So I'll try to run more, and I'll try to curl into a ball in my bed less. And I'll pray that someday, I will only think about you once a day. That I will stop beating myself up, wondering if it was something I did. Sometimes it feels like running is the only glue keeping me from losing it completely. Ironically, anyone who I tell my fertility struggles to tells me to run less. So I try to hang a balance between not too much and I might jump off a bridge if I don't run today.
As time goes on I have really started to mentally grasp that I might just have 2 kids. It makes me feel like I want to jump out of my own skin. Because of that, I cling to the memories of when Brooks and Luke were little. Every time I try to remember harder they seem farther away. They're fading and it makes me frantic. I want them to be vivid and present. I want to hold a baby. I yearn to hold a baby.
With that I worry that I am letting these times slip away while I am in pain. I am so sad about my situation and in a year I will miss Luke being 2 instead of enjoying him being 2 now. I want to slap myself out of it. I want I want I want. My life has been lucky, and good, and maybe I needed some struggle.
On really bad days you might think I am someone completely different than I am. I have let it consume me. I am trying so hard to not let that happen anymore. I try to remind myself that what attitude I put out into the world often speaks louder than my words. Nobody knows what happens to me at the grocery store. Nobody cares. And my kids need me to move on and smile. I need to carry on and get over it.
When I finally got the courage to post this my son said, so sweetly, "momma, what are you crying about?"
I said "The baby that I lost."
It felt ok to tell him that, and I felt good.
I love you, whoever you were. I miss you. I'll pray for you. And you are forever mine.
xoxo
Big Momma
However, as time goes on, I know that I have to share it. Not for any reason except that I hope it will help me heal a little more. And also, maybe someday, somewhere, it will resonate with someone else, and help them too.
Anyone that knows our family knows that we would love to have one more child. If you see me in stressed out moments you might even wonder why. Hehe. But deep down, in the depths of my soul, I feel that there is another child out there for me. When we first got married, I really pictured us with 4 kids. My husband is one of 4, and I am one of 5, so I just imagined we would be the same. As we have created our own family, and I realize my strengths and weaknesses, coupled with my husband's job as a football coach, I honestly don't know that I am equipped to handle 4. I do not know how you did it, Mom! So I have started to just really put that in God's hands. But I do know that I would give anything to have just one more.
About 17 months ago my husband and I went on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Italy. We left our three year old and one year old for 7 days and it was hard and wonderful. I will always be thankful for that adventure we had. I was thankful that I missed my babies as much as I did. I am thankful we had the money to do that, and that my parents blessed us at a young age so that we did. We went on the trip with a purpose: do something outrageous and wild and slightly financially irresponsible before we have our third kid. I just assumed we would return from Italy, and within a few months, I would be pregnant again, with another 2 to 2 1/2 year age gap between the next one and our younger one. It did not occur to me that this wouldn't happen.
But here we are. It's August....over a year later......and our baby is almost 3. And I am sitting here writing this with tears streaming down my face and the heaviest heart I have ever had. I am so sad that we haven't been able to have another one. We did get pregnant once, and we lost that baby. I have told some people. If you know me, you probably know I am an open book. I will tell you if I am cranky, if I have gas, my whole life story, whatever you want. But I have been a little more guarded about this. Slowly I have started to tell people, but the words are usually out of my mouth before I have thought them through and I don't even know why I am saying them. Some days I want to pretend that I never had this happen to me. That I am perfectly fertile with golden eggs and I could have 82 children if I so chose to. And other days I want to scream from the mountain tops that I know what you feel like. Anyone who has struggled to get pregnant or has laid in their bed curled up and sobbed until your face hurt after losing a baby. I know you. I get it.
As I have struggled through different emotions since our miscarriage I have realized several things. I am beyond lucky, and grateful, to have two beautiful children. I can't imagine my life without them and I don't remember my life before them. They are gorgeous, hilarious, and way more than I deserve. The depth of my appreciation for my children is deeper now that I have endured loss. I should be thankful for that. I have met people and I know people who have endured losses and I know stories I wish were not true. I miscarried early on in the pregnancy and actually never heard a heartbeat. In some ways that's better. I hadn't told many people and I didn't have more time to get attached. But in other ways it makes my mind crazier. What happened and why did it not work? What did I do wrong?
So I drink less coffee. I run less. I track everything. I track if I lose a darn hair off of my head I swear. I pray more than I ever have in my gosh darn life. I pray more on my knees than I ever imagined I would. And that's good. It's easy to say that maybe that's what God wanted for me. To feel the appreciation for my 2 beautiful children. To realize the miracle they are. To stop and appreciate what I have. I have so much. Maybe he needed me to pray more. I pray in bed. I pray in the car. I pray while I exercise. I pray while I watch TV. I am the ultimate multi-tasking prayer.
My husband has of course been a saint. He would do anything for me. I will miss him this fall when I have bad days. I miss his hands the most. They are huge and they make me feel safe. I love laying in bed with him without the TV on and talking. He makes me feel calmer and I am afraid for nights when he works until midnight and I feel the world is caving in.
I know I need to carry on and get over it. When I am busy, really really busy, I even go a few hours without thinking about it. And then it creeps back in. Not being busy is not good for me. I let my mind wander to your due date. Would you have been a boy or girl? I do not care. I know you would have been so special. How can you miss someone you don't know? But I do. For about one month afterwards I would dream and see a face. It was like in an ultrasound, fuzzy and wavy, and you don't really know what it would look like. But it was sweet.
I went out to dinner with my 2 best friends about 6 weeks ago and we met a clairvoyant lady who "read us." She approached us, and without us saying a word, she asked me if I had recently miscarried, and that it was a boy, and he was in the room. I felt wonderful and angry and a million things.
My lowest points usually come curled into a ball of self pity in bed and my highest points usually come on runs. So I'll try to run more, and I'll try to curl into a ball in my bed less. And I'll pray that someday, I will only think about you once a day. That I will stop beating myself up, wondering if it was something I did. Sometimes it feels like running is the only glue keeping me from losing it completely. Ironically, anyone who I tell my fertility struggles to tells me to run less. So I try to hang a balance between not too much and I might jump off a bridge if I don't run today.
As time goes on I have really started to mentally grasp that I might just have 2 kids. It makes me feel like I want to jump out of my own skin. Because of that, I cling to the memories of when Brooks and Luke were little. Every time I try to remember harder they seem farther away. They're fading and it makes me frantic. I want them to be vivid and present. I want to hold a baby. I yearn to hold a baby.
With that I worry that I am letting these times slip away while I am in pain. I am so sad about my situation and in a year I will miss Luke being 2 instead of enjoying him being 2 now. I want to slap myself out of it. I want I want I want. My life has been lucky, and good, and maybe I needed some struggle.
On really bad days you might think I am someone completely different than I am. I have let it consume me. I am trying so hard to not let that happen anymore. I try to remind myself that what attitude I put out into the world often speaks louder than my words. Nobody knows what happens to me at the grocery store. Nobody cares. And my kids need me to move on and smile. I need to carry on and get over it.
When I finally got the courage to post this my son said, so sweetly, "momma, what are you crying about?"
I said "The baby that I lost."
It felt ok to tell him that, and I felt good.
I love you, whoever you were. I miss you. I'll pray for you. And you are forever mine.
xoxo
Big Momma
Saturday, May 30, 2015
There was this day
There was this day. It was a long time ago now. It is etched in my brain forever. It was before I had kids. It was before I met my sweet husband. As amazing as my life has been for 10 years with these people, I was Sarah Adkins Sherman before them. And there was this day.
I came home and my mom was sad. She is never sad. She is quiet, rarely. And when she is quiet, it's weird. She is mostly even, perfectly wonderfully, amazingly calm and even-tempered. She has raised 5 children and I only remember her being really mad and using a cross word one time. It was 104 degrees in Texas and she ran out of gas. That day, she was pissssed. That's truly the only time I remember. Seriously she's that good. To this day I will never know how she did it. But on this day, she was so so so sad, and it was in the morning. I walked into our living room and she said, the news is broadcasting that your dad might be let go from the Packers today.
I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. It made me hurt in places I didn't know I could hurt. He had one losing season since he arrived here. You are too greedy. He is too good. You don't deserve him. Let him go. But don't, because I love living here, and our life. And Wisconsin is so good. Weirdly good in a secret way, like a miracle cheese Candy Land nobody knows about it and it's only our secret and we can have all the butter burgers and cheese curds we want. Seriously the people are so nice and if you said tomorrow that I have to leave beautiful sunny Florida for the people of Wisconsin I would do it. It's that good. But if you let my dad go, I will always have to 1% hate it and I don't want to. I want to always love Culvers cheese curds and milk shakes, and pushing the Krolls button because I didn't get a butter patty on my burger, and la la la la Lambeau. There is only one Lambeau field.
So they did. She told me at 8 a.m. And by 9 a.m., before dad could even tell all he wanted to tell, they had made the news public. This was the first time that I hated football. Up until this point in my life, football was just part of life. I didn't love football. I didn't hate football. I was football.
(me) "Hi my name is Sarah I just moved here from Texas. I'm 12. I have moved 7 times and my dad is a football coach."
(friend who does not know me) "Oh. He does that year round? That's weird."
(me) "Ya it's weird. want to be my friend?"
Fast forward 20 years. I will meet friends at the gym......at the grocery....I met one of my best Florida friends getting coffee on day 2 at a Starbucks, and she's a neighbor and friend now! Thanks football coaching!! And Cyndy Rodriguez! Love you! And here I am. I am just a mom. That is my identifying factor. I have noticed recently people will often ask me, but what do you do? They know I am a mom, and that suddenly isn't enough. But this isn't about that, and I am going to have to write another blog about that. Because it is enough and I am trying to raise two decent human beings and by golly it's exhausting. Yes I do write a blog when I feel like it. Yes I do sell skin care and I don't do it very well. But I am a mom. And that's enough. So stop asking moms what else they do. Rant done.
I am just here. Here raising babies and praying and baking cookies and running and doing more praying. And I still think about that day all the time. That is what people watching sports don't understand. There is a coach. And there is a family supporting that coach. I am guessing they haven't seen him in weeks and they care more about that game than you I GUARANTEE. I think about the season my husband will start in 100 days or so all the time. I feel sick to my stomach already. A few months in, he will be exhausted. He will be run down. I will be doing everything in our household except earning money. I don't know how this happened that I married a coach but God laid out my life a million years ago and he knows what he's doing. I will worry my coach is too run-down, and I won't be able to make it. But I will make it. And we will be ok. Winning will make it better. But if we don't, we will still be ok.
So on that horrible day, my dad left the Packers. I was in graduate school at Nebraska at the time, so you would think that I would have been fairly removed from it. But my parents were amazing at keeping our family in tact, and I felt every hurt that I could feel. The day my dad went to the Packers to clear out his office I went with him. I helped him load boxes of memorabilia and framed pictures. It took forever, because he had lived at those offices for over 6 years. I waited patiently in the hallways of the enormous building while he went and thanked every janitor, cleaning person, maintenance man, etc. He tipped them all, and he knew their name. He knew every single person's name. He was asking about their kids, and asking to stay in touch. And I wanted to kick the walls down. Honestly I wanted to burn the walls down, but that sounds crazy. So ya we will stick with kick the walls down. I wanted to yell at anybody I saw "You are crazy. He is the best you will ever find!"
But it happened anyway, and we moved on. And my family went to Houston, where my dad was the offensive line coach then the offensive coordinator of the Houston Texans. He was eventually named the Head Coach of Texas A&M University a few years later. He turned the program around, devoted his entire being to that University, and I still have people today tell me what he did for them at that school. I will have people approach me for the rest of my life telling me that my dad was the best thing happened to them. And he was the best thing that happened to me, too. In 6 years at the Packers he won 3 divisional championships. In 4 years at Texas A&M he went to 3 bowl games. Coaching is the weirdest business on the planet. It's never enough. It feels like it will never be enough.
So even after all this weird pain....this coaching life that I didn't ask for, but I am incredibly blessed to have been given, I have come to accept Big Poppa's decision to coach in Cape Cod. I just want him to be happy. I want him to be able to coach, because seriously he is so good at it it's crazy. His best talent is to be a motivator, honestly his scheme could use some work. HAHAHAH just checking if you are reading dad. Love you! But he is the best thing that has ever happened to football, and anything he has touched has turned to gold (Brett Favre finishing strong under his coaching at the Packers, Aaron Rodgers drafted during his tenure at the Packers, Ryan Tannehill coached in college, Johnny Football recruited at A&M, raised the great Sarah Sherman, bye Felicia).
So I am not going to be sad. I am going to be ecstatic. That he will keep coaching. Thank God. He called me one day and said he might get into Real Estate and I flat out told him he was crazy. You are way too good at this Poppa. Keep on coaching. Coach until all you want to do is go out on that crazy boat to Nantucket even though we all tell you it makes us nervous. Because you're changing lives and it's amazing and it would be a downright crime to hold you back. Here is the link to an awesomely enormous decision by my Pops.
Sherman to take over as Head Coach of Massachusett's High School
If you have read this entire crazy rambling blog, my only request is this.
Keep loving sports. Watch them with the passion that they deserve. Somebody's entire life is devoted to the game you are watching. A 9-year old basketball game might have been missed tonight, because this guy had to coach the Boston Celtics.
Love your dad. I have made it perfectly clear that I have wanted a girl for a long time. It is not a secret to anybody that knows me. I like to laugh with everyone about how it is because I would shop for her endlessly (duh) and we would be best friends forever (double duh). It is mostly because my dad is the best man there ever was in my mind. And there is no sweeter relationship, in the entire world, than a daughter and her father. Zac would be the luckiest man in the world to have a daughter and build the kind of relationship I had with my dad. He is the first man I ever loved, and he is the kindest, sweetest soul on the planet.
Dad,
You are the most wonderfully good person I have ever known. When I was growing up, you told me about 2,000 times, I can handle anything in the world, just don't lie to me. Ugh. It took me forever to figure that out. Thank you for teaching me about discipline. And marriage. And honestly. And that I should never hold on to anything tighter than I hold on to my relationship with God.
I know you are going to be moving mountains when you are gone, because that is the kind of person you are. You will influence people so much that they will continue to spread that when you can't do it anymore yourself. And that is all Jesus ever wanted. I don't know why God brought us to these places but I have to believe it's to get us here, where we have our faith, our family, our health, and this relationship. I read 2 things recently that make me feel better.
"My heart is at ease knowing that, what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me."
"In the end only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
To the Nauset High School football team,
I hope you understand the coach you are getting. This is no joke. He has a .594 head coaching winning record in the NFL, and he is the most wise man I have ever known. But more importantly, he can guide you in every facet of your life. He will uphold you to the highest standards you have ever known, and he will not let you fail. You will probably hate him before you love him, and then you will never, ever, ever forget him. He might make you learn a 128 page notebook about the west coast offense, but you will also possibly learn the most important life lessons you never knew you needed. Buckle your seat belts. And get ready. PS you might puke during 2-a-days.
"I will go before you, and make the crooked places straight."
Isaiah 45:2
xoxo Big Mama
I came home and my mom was sad. She is never sad. She is quiet, rarely. And when she is quiet, it's weird. She is mostly even, perfectly wonderfully, amazingly calm and even-tempered. She has raised 5 children and I only remember her being really mad and using a cross word one time. It was 104 degrees in Texas and she ran out of gas. That day, she was pissssed. That's truly the only time I remember. Seriously she's that good. To this day I will never know how she did it. But on this day, she was so so so sad, and it was in the morning. I walked into our living room and she said, the news is broadcasting that your dad might be let go from the Packers today.
I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. It made me hurt in places I didn't know I could hurt. He had one losing season since he arrived here. You are too greedy. He is too good. You don't deserve him. Let him go. But don't, because I love living here, and our life. And Wisconsin is so good. Weirdly good in a secret way, like a miracle cheese Candy Land nobody knows about it and it's only our secret and we can have all the butter burgers and cheese curds we want. Seriously the people are so nice and if you said tomorrow that I have to leave beautiful sunny Florida for the people of Wisconsin I would do it. It's that good. But if you let my dad go, I will always have to 1% hate it and I don't want to. I want to always love Culvers cheese curds and milk shakes, and pushing the Krolls button because I didn't get a butter patty on my burger, and la la la la Lambeau. There is only one Lambeau field.
So they did. She told me at 8 a.m. And by 9 a.m., before dad could even tell all he wanted to tell, they had made the news public. This was the first time that I hated football. Up until this point in my life, football was just part of life. I didn't love football. I didn't hate football. I was football.
(me) "Hi my name is Sarah I just moved here from Texas. I'm 12. I have moved 7 times and my dad is a football coach."
(friend who does not know me) "Oh. He does that year round? That's weird."
(me) "Ya it's weird. want to be my friend?"
Fast forward 20 years. I will meet friends at the gym......at the grocery....I met one of my best Florida friends getting coffee on day 2 at a Starbucks, and she's a neighbor and friend now! Thanks football coaching!! And Cyndy Rodriguez! Love you! And here I am. I am just a mom. That is my identifying factor. I have noticed recently people will often ask me, but what do you do? They know I am a mom, and that suddenly isn't enough. But this isn't about that, and I am going to have to write another blog about that. Because it is enough and I am trying to raise two decent human beings and by golly it's exhausting. Yes I do write a blog when I feel like it. Yes I do sell skin care and I don't do it very well. But I am a mom. And that's enough. So stop asking moms what else they do. Rant done.
I am just here. Here raising babies and praying and baking cookies and running and doing more praying. And I still think about that day all the time. That is what people watching sports don't understand. There is a coach. And there is a family supporting that coach. I am guessing they haven't seen him in weeks and they care more about that game than you I GUARANTEE. I think about the season my husband will start in 100 days or so all the time. I feel sick to my stomach already. A few months in, he will be exhausted. He will be run down. I will be doing everything in our household except earning money. I don't know how this happened that I married a coach but God laid out my life a million years ago and he knows what he's doing. I will worry my coach is too run-down, and I won't be able to make it. But I will make it. And we will be ok. Winning will make it better. But if we don't, we will still be ok.
So on that horrible day, my dad left the Packers. I was in graduate school at Nebraska at the time, so you would think that I would have been fairly removed from it. But my parents were amazing at keeping our family in tact, and I felt every hurt that I could feel. The day my dad went to the Packers to clear out his office I went with him. I helped him load boxes of memorabilia and framed pictures. It took forever, because he had lived at those offices for over 6 years. I waited patiently in the hallways of the enormous building while he went and thanked every janitor, cleaning person, maintenance man, etc. He tipped them all, and he knew their name. He knew every single person's name. He was asking about their kids, and asking to stay in touch. And I wanted to kick the walls down. Honestly I wanted to burn the walls down, but that sounds crazy. So ya we will stick with kick the walls down. I wanted to yell at anybody I saw "You are crazy. He is the best you will ever find!"
But it happened anyway, and we moved on. And my family went to Houston, where my dad was the offensive line coach then the offensive coordinator of the Houston Texans. He was eventually named the Head Coach of Texas A&M University a few years later. He turned the program around, devoted his entire being to that University, and I still have people today tell me what he did for them at that school. I will have people approach me for the rest of my life telling me that my dad was the best thing happened to them. And he was the best thing that happened to me, too. In 6 years at the Packers he won 3 divisional championships. In 4 years at Texas A&M he went to 3 bowl games. Coaching is the weirdest business on the planet. It's never enough. It feels like it will never be enough.
So even after all this weird pain....this coaching life that I didn't ask for, but I am incredibly blessed to have been given, I have come to accept Big Poppa's decision to coach in Cape Cod. I just want him to be happy. I want him to be able to coach, because seriously he is so good at it it's crazy. His best talent is to be a motivator, honestly his scheme could use some work. HAHAHAH just checking if you are reading dad. Love you! But he is the best thing that has ever happened to football, and anything he has touched has turned to gold (Brett Favre finishing strong under his coaching at the Packers, Aaron Rodgers drafted during his tenure at the Packers, Ryan Tannehill coached in college, Johnny Football recruited at A&M, raised the great Sarah Sherman, bye Felicia).
So I am not going to be sad. I am going to be ecstatic. That he will keep coaching. Thank God. He called me one day and said he might get into Real Estate and I flat out told him he was crazy. You are way too good at this Poppa. Keep on coaching. Coach until all you want to do is go out on that crazy boat to Nantucket even though we all tell you it makes us nervous. Because you're changing lives and it's amazing and it would be a downright crime to hold you back. Here is the link to an awesomely enormous decision by my Pops.
Sherman to take over as Head Coach of Massachusett's High School
If you have read this entire crazy rambling blog, my only request is this.
Keep loving sports. Watch them with the passion that they deserve. Somebody's entire life is devoted to the game you are watching. A 9-year old basketball game might have been missed tonight, because this guy had to coach the Boston Celtics.
Love your dad. I have made it perfectly clear that I have wanted a girl for a long time. It is not a secret to anybody that knows me. I like to laugh with everyone about how it is because I would shop for her endlessly (duh) and we would be best friends forever (double duh). It is mostly because my dad is the best man there ever was in my mind. And there is no sweeter relationship, in the entire world, than a daughter and her father. Zac would be the luckiest man in the world to have a daughter and build the kind of relationship I had with my dad. He is the first man I ever loved, and he is the kindest, sweetest soul on the planet.
Dad,
You are the most wonderfully good person I have ever known. When I was growing up, you told me about 2,000 times, I can handle anything in the world, just don't lie to me. Ugh. It took me forever to figure that out. Thank you for teaching me about discipline. And marriage. And honestly. And that I should never hold on to anything tighter than I hold on to my relationship with God.
I know you are going to be moving mountains when you are gone, because that is the kind of person you are. You will influence people so much that they will continue to spread that when you can't do it anymore yourself. And that is all Jesus ever wanted. I don't know why God brought us to these places but I have to believe it's to get us here, where we have our faith, our family, our health, and this relationship. I read 2 things recently that make me feel better.
"My heart is at ease knowing that, what was meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me."
"In the end only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
To the Nauset High School football team,
I hope you understand the coach you are getting. This is no joke. He has a .594 head coaching winning record in the NFL, and he is the most wise man I have ever known. But more importantly, he can guide you in every facet of your life. He will uphold you to the highest standards you have ever known, and he will not let you fail. You will probably hate him before you love him, and then you will never, ever, ever forget him. He might make you learn a 128 page notebook about the west coast offense, but you will also possibly learn the most important life lessons you never knew you needed. Buckle your seat belts. And get ready. PS you might puke during 2-a-days.
"I will go before you, and make the crooked places straight."
Isaiah 45:2
xoxo Big Mama
Sunday, May 10, 2015
A Mother's prayer
Dear Lord,
Thank you for making me a mama. It's all I dreamt of and more. My children are a beautiful mess. They're good and kind and I am trying to teach them about prayer. I know Brooks prayed for a dinosaur phone last night. Sorry about that. I love how whatever we are doing, he makes it his own.
Please watch over Brooks and Luke. Finding my husband and the gift of these boys....they are the best things that have ever happened to me. I pray that my husband wins all his football games for the rest of his life. I know that's probably too much to ask so I'll take 75%. Please watch over those boys of mine Lord, in the swimming pool always, on the playground climbing high things and especially that spider net climbing thing, when they are faced with that big first-time decision to follow or lead, and every time they are faced with the decision to be kind or mean. When they eat McDonalds, let it pass through their body quickly and not linger. Please let them avoid bug bites, bee stings, and most hurt in the world, but I suppose they need a little to grow.
They didn't get to choose their mama. I pray they only hate me a little, just when they are teenagers and I kiss them at drop off. I pray they secretly want to marry someone just like me. A little bit of a hot mess, mostly fun, who lets her mother in law visit whenever she wants. Because I am going to visit you boys all.the.time. I pray they do find love, and it's the kind of love that you get lost in and fight for and they laugh and laugh and laugh. I pray they have children, just the right amount for them, and that moment changes their life for the better just like the gifts you gave me. I pray that I continue to raise them up to follow you and that they want that for their children as well, more than anyone else.
Please help with my worry Lord. I worry every second that they are happy. That something is going to happen to them and I am not going to be there to fix it and prevent it and cocoon them. That I cuddled them enough. That they are going to good people. Help me to put down my phone when it's important and lay on the floor and get lost in a puzzle. Help me to read that Harry and the Bucket full of dinosaurs for the 1,456th time. I don't want to read that book anymore. But I pray you help me to read it with energy at least 200 more times. Give me patience, especially when their little wiry bodies climb into my bed at 3 in the morning. I know they need me, and I pray you help me not get frustrated that they are like a hot little octopus in bed with me slapping me in the face. Help me to brush their hair to the side and rub their back so they fall into that deep sleep where their balloon bellies barely move.
Thank you for making me a mom Lord. I pray your presence is with me in the car line when I am frustrated, at the park when there are mean mommies, in all the most important questions they ask me along the way, and most importantly, continuing to guide me in my marriage to the best man in the world. My relationship with him is the most wonderful gift I can give my kids, and I know the very best thing he has done for our family is show my boys how to treat a wife.
Sometimes I have days where my patience is so thin and I feel like the blind leading the blind. I scold more than I should, I yell more than I ever wanted to, and I feel like I am screwing up this incredible gift you gave me. Please be with me most in these moments. These little people are the finest, loveliest people I have ever known, and I want so badly to do this right.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
xoxo Big Mama
Thank you for making me a mama. It's all I dreamt of and more. My children are a beautiful mess. They're good and kind and I am trying to teach them about prayer. I know Brooks prayed for a dinosaur phone last night. Sorry about that. I love how whatever we are doing, he makes it his own.
Please watch over Brooks and Luke. Finding my husband and the gift of these boys....they are the best things that have ever happened to me. I pray that my husband wins all his football games for the rest of his life. I know that's probably too much to ask so I'll take 75%. Please watch over those boys of mine Lord, in the swimming pool always, on the playground climbing high things and especially that spider net climbing thing, when they are faced with that big first-time decision to follow or lead, and every time they are faced with the decision to be kind or mean. When they eat McDonalds, let it pass through their body quickly and not linger. Please let them avoid bug bites, bee stings, and most hurt in the world, but I suppose they need a little to grow.
They didn't get to choose their mama. I pray they only hate me a little, just when they are teenagers and I kiss them at drop off. I pray they secretly want to marry someone just like me. A little bit of a hot mess, mostly fun, who lets her mother in law visit whenever she wants. Because I am going to visit you boys all.the.time. I pray they do find love, and it's the kind of love that you get lost in and fight for and they laugh and laugh and laugh. I pray they have children, just the right amount for them, and that moment changes their life for the better just like the gifts you gave me. I pray that I continue to raise them up to follow you and that they want that for their children as well, more than anyone else.
Please help with my worry Lord. I worry every second that they are happy. That something is going to happen to them and I am not going to be there to fix it and prevent it and cocoon them. That I cuddled them enough. That they are going to good people. Help me to put down my phone when it's important and lay on the floor and get lost in a puzzle. Help me to read that Harry and the Bucket full of dinosaurs for the 1,456th time. I don't want to read that book anymore. But I pray you help me to read it with energy at least 200 more times. Give me patience, especially when their little wiry bodies climb into my bed at 3 in the morning. I know they need me, and I pray you help me not get frustrated that they are like a hot little octopus in bed with me slapping me in the face. Help me to brush their hair to the side and rub their back so they fall into that deep sleep where their balloon bellies barely move.
Thank you for making me a mom Lord. I pray your presence is with me in the car line when I am frustrated, at the park when there are mean mommies, in all the most important questions they ask me along the way, and most importantly, continuing to guide me in my marriage to the best man in the world. My relationship with him is the most wonderful gift I can give my kids, and I know the very best thing he has done for our family is show my boys how to treat a wife.
Sometimes I have days where my patience is so thin and I feel like the blind leading the blind. I scold more than I should, I yell more than I ever wanted to, and I feel like I am screwing up this incredible gift you gave me. Please be with me most in these moments. These little people are the finest, loveliest people I have ever known, and I want so badly to do this right.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."
Proverbs 22:6
xoxo Big Mama
Thursday, April 30, 2015
And with the first pick in the NFL Draft, I select.....
My husband has one of those weird jobs. I guess I'm not sure exactly what a normal job is these days, I change diapers and sell face wash on the side. But when I think of Boy Meets World and the dad being a grocery store manager, I think, that must be pretty great. Probably normal hours, and a discount on food? Sign me up. I can just hear myself yelling out the door after my husband has actually helped me all morning with the routine, yelling "bring me back the freshest tomatoes you can find! Oh and a box of wine!" Sounds nice.
But alas, mine is a football coach. And it is certainly not all bad. He does work a lot of hours in the season, which is fall. But for those that enjoy going to athletic events, I get to spend 5-6 months going to football games for free, and they are fun. It is certainly not boring and he seems extremely happy, so when the hours get long, I remind myself that he is very lucky to be doing something he is passionate about it and has fun with.
If you like football you might be aware tonight is the beginning of the NFL draft. The team my husband coaches for will have one selection tonight as just the first round will air tonight. There will be trades, surprises, and I'm sure a little drama. I am excited to watch and can't help but hope for an offensive weapon, as my husband coaches on offense.
Since I also grew up with a father for a football coach, my life has often revolved around the sport, like it or not. So I can't help but think of myself in these situations, in the war room all stressed out over the lean and athletic receiver versus the sturdiest offensive lineman to come across the draft in 3 years. Bahahahha just kidding. I never think of that. But it would be funny if I did. Here is what I think of drafting:
A firey metabolism.
You know who I kinda dislike? All you people out there claiming to love fruit-infused water and kale chips. Neither are good. Sure, they're edible and fine if they are healthy and give me nutrients I can't get by swallowing a vitamin and washing it down with 4 hours old coffee. And yes I do put greens in my smoothie so I guess I have joined the trendy greens bandwagon. But a kale chip is not a Dorito and I am real sick and tired of people acting like it comes close.
I would like to draft the kind of metabolism where when people ask how I stay so lean I just say casually "Oh, I have always been thin. I guess I just got lucky!" Because this is NOT the case. I have a booty that won't quit and the thighs of an olympic gymnast, squat and round, and I have to work hard for this mom body. Luckily I like working out and I enjoy eating mostly healthy, but it would be nice to have the kind of metabolism for those days that I feel like throwing 10 twinkies and some cool whip in the vitamix.
A live in nanny
No, I don't want anyone else raising my children. I am kind of enjoying screwing them up on my own. But of course at random times throughout the day I would love that 15 minute shower, that chance to pee alone, heck I haven't brushed my teeth 3 times in one day since probably 2010. Just last week I was washing my face when my older child screamed out "Oh no mom, you are NOT gonna like this!" I had soap in my eyes and I was blindly running through the house trying to find out what disaster happened. So it would be nice to just have someone "around" when I need a second. Preferably she would be really nice, not judge the fact that I let dishes pile up in the sink or ever make my bed, and be really adventurous with kids. Hey Sue Ellen, would you take over for 22 minutes while I eat this twinkie smoothie in the bath? Thanks so much, I'll be a better mom in a jiffy.
A live in cook
Ok as long as I am requesting a nanny I guess a cook wouldn't hurt. I actually don't mind cooking, but I don't love cleaning up, and it stresses me out that when I try to get adventurous with cooking I feel like I spend approximately $2,342 dollars at the grocery store buying heavy cream, basil and 3 spices I've never heard of and will never use again. And I do enjoy healthy foods, but when I have 2 small kids flying from the chandelier or clawing at my feet while I throw macaroni in a strainer, it feels like a miracle to get anything on our table. I'm not gonna lie, during the football season, cut up cheese and cereal is actually considered a decent dinner for us. I also probably don't prepare nearly enough ahead of time, so by the time I'm halfway done cooking I am usually eating huge bites from a 1 lb block of cheese while I wait for it to be done and my kids and I circle the kitchen. I also make the mistake of grocery shopping hungry every single time,. When will I ever learn?? so I typically go in intending to get 90% produce and leave with 10 things that end in the word fritter. I think about having someone to handle all that and man, I bet my second kid would be potty trained by now.
A kind of wine that doesn't leave me with raging hangovers
I like my wine. I like it cold (white), I like it room temp (red), I like it in a nice glass (rare), I like it in a solo cup (common), I like it on the weekdays (oops) and on the weekends (always). But sometimes it's just really hard to judge a one glass of wine pour when you are pouring it in to a solo cup and your child is yelling that they are falling off the kitchen counter. I can't help it if the spout from my boxed wine flows so quickly and I am not one to waste anything let alone wine. So the next thing I know I probably had roughly 21 oz. of wine on a Tuesday. And for dinner I had 11 skittles and a row of butter crackers. So Wednesday comes too quickly and everything is going in slow motion. Somehow my 2 year old writes in marker all over the ottoman and my face is still numb and my eyes haven't even uncrusted before I stumble to the coffee maker. The older I get, the less full that solo cup needs to be before the next day hurts. So if someone would invent a wine where I can enjoy it responsibly in my home while watching the Duggars and the Housewives and not wake up feeling like death the next morning, I would draft you first. You would be my star receiver and I would renew your contract until the end of time. Thank you.
A safe room
It's 3:59 in the afternoon and everybody in my house is cranky. My 4 year old is frustrated that I can't explain where all the fossils in the world are. My 2 year old is very upset that I dropped one of his almonds when gave him a handful. It landed 2 inches from his right foot and that is probably the worst thing he has had happen to him this year. He is crying uncontrollably on the floor and I can tell this is a situation where it'll take him at least 15 minutes to become human again. I'm out of wine, something I promised I wouldn't let happen again. I dream of my safe room. This is something I have invented in my head but I would draft it trusting that it could be invented under my specific ideas that I have envisioned. It would be completely dark, with soft walls (in case you want to bang your head against them.) Velvet is acceptable, but a plush chenille would be idea. There would be a hot bath ready to get int on at a moment's notice. Next to said hot bath would be a rainfall shower with a really decadent hair masque that I didn't feel one spec of guilt over buying even though it cost $17. There would be plush robes that are always clean and smell like springtime and butterflies. There would be silence, unless I request rainfall sound or birds chirping. Calorie free cookies would be nice but I don't want to get greedy. Oh, it would have a lock on the door. That's a freaking must.
Draft Day for Moms. Let's make it happen.
xoxo Big Mama
But alas, mine is a football coach. And it is certainly not all bad. He does work a lot of hours in the season, which is fall. But for those that enjoy going to athletic events, I get to spend 5-6 months going to football games for free, and they are fun. It is certainly not boring and he seems extremely happy, so when the hours get long, I remind myself that he is very lucky to be doing something he is passionate about it and has fun with.
If you like football you might be aware tonight is the beginning of the NFL draft. The team my husband coaches for will have one selection tonight as just the first round will air tonight. There will be trades, surprises, and I'm sure a little drama. I am excited to watch and can't help but hope for an offensive weapon, as my husband coaches on offense.
Since I also grew up with a father for a football coach, my life has often revolved around the sport, like it or not. So I can't help but think of myself in these situations, in the war room all stressed out over the lean and athletic receiver versus the sturdiest offensive lineman to come across the draft in 3 years. Bahahahha just kidding. I never think of that. But it would be funny if I did. Here is what I think of drafting:
A firey metabolism.
You know who I kinda dislike? All you people out there claiming to love fruit-infused water and kale chips. Neither are good. Sure, they're edible and fine if they are healthy and give me nutrients I can't get by swallowing a vitamin and washing it down with 4 hours old coffee. And yes I do put greens in my smoothie so I guess I have joined the trendy greens bandwagon. But a kale chip is not a Dorito and I am real sick and tired of people acting like it comes close.
I would like to draft the kind of metabolism where when people ask how I stay so lean I just say casually "Oh, I have always been thin. I guess I just got lucky!" Because this is NOT the case. I have a booty that won't quit and the thighs of an olympic gymnast, squat and round, and I have to work hard for this mom body. Luckily I like working out and I enjoy eating mostly healthy, but it would be nice to have the kind of metabolism for those days that I feel like throwing 10 twinkies and some cool whip in the vitamix.
A live in nanny
No, I don't want anyone else raising my children. I am kind of enjoying screwing them up on my own. But of course at random times throughout the day I would love that 15 minute shower, that chance to pee alone, heck I haven't brushed my teeth 3 times in one day since probably 2010. Just last week I was washing my face when my older child screamed out "Oh no mom, you are NOT gonna like this!" I had soap in my eyes and I was blindly running through the house trying to find out what disaster happened. So it would be nice to just have someone "around" when I need a second. Preferably she would be really nice, not judge the fact that I let dishes pile up in the sink or ever make my bed, and be really adventurous with kids. Hey Sue Ellen, would you take over for 22 minutes while I eat this twinkie smoothie in the bath? Thanks so much, I'll be a better mom in a jiffy.
A live in cook
Ok as long as I am requesting a nanny I guess a cook wouldn't hurt. I actually don't mind cooking, but I don't love cleaning up, and it stresses me out that when I try to get adventurous with cooking I feel like I spend approximately $2,342 dollars at the grocery store buying heavy cream, basil and 3 spices I've never heard of and will never use again. And I do enjoy healthy foods, but when I have 2 small kids flying from the chandelier or clawing at my feet while I throw macaroni in a strainer, it feels like a miracle to get anything on our table. I'm not gonna lie, during the football season, cut up cheese and cereal is actually considered a decent dinner for us. I also probably don't prepare nearly enough ahead of time, so by the time I'm halfway done cooking I am usually eating huge bites from a 1 lb block of cheese while I wait for it to be done and my kids and I circle the kitchen. I also make the mistake of grocery shopping hungry every single time,. When will I ever learn?? so I typically go in intending to get 90% produce and leave with 10 things that end in the word fritter. I think about having someone to handle all that and man, I bet my second kid would be potty trained by now.
A kind of wine that doesn't leave me with raging hangovers
I like my wine. I like it cold (white), I like it room temp (red), I like it in a nice glass (rare), I like it in a solo cup (common), I like it on the weekdays (oops) and on the weekends (always). But sometimes it's just really hard to judge a one glass of wine pour when you are pouring it in to a solo cup and your child is yelling that they are falling off the kitchen counter. I can't help it if the spout from my boxed wine flows so quickly and I am not one to waste anything let alone wine. So the next thing I know I probably had roughly 21 oz. of wine on a Tuesday. And for dinner I had 11 skittles and a row of butter crackers. So Wednesday comes too quickly and everything is going in slow motion. Somehow my 2 year old writes in marker all over the ottoman and my face is still numb and my eyes haven't even uncrusted before I stumble to the coffee maker. The older I get, the less full that solo cup needs to be before the next day hurts. So if someone would invent a wine where I can enjoy it responsibly in my home while watching the Duggars and the Housewives and not wake up feeling like death the next morning, I would draft you first. You would be my star receiver and I would renew your contract until the end of time. Thank you.
A safe room
It's 3:59 in the afternoon and everybody in my house is cranky. My 4 year old is frustrated that I can't explain where all the fossils in the world are. My 2 year old is very upset that I dropped one of his almonds when gave him a handful. It landed 2 inches from his right foot and that is probably the worst thing he has had happen to him this year. He is crying uncontrollably on the floor and I can tell this is a situation where it'll take him at least 15 minutes to become human again. I'm out of wine, something I promised I wouldn't let happen again. I dream of my safe room. This is something I have invented in my head but I would draft it trusting that it could be invented under my specific ideas that I have envisioned. It would be completely dark, with soft walls (in case you want to bang your head against them.) Velvet is acceptable, but a plush chenille would be idea. There would be a hot bath ready to get int on at a moment's notice. Next to said hot bath would be a rainfall shower with a really decadent hair masque that I didn't feel one spec of guilt over buying even though it cost $17. There would be plush robes that are always clean and smell like springtime and butterflies. There would be silence, unless I request rainfall sound or birds chirping. Calorie free cookies would be nice but I don't want to get greedy. Oh, it would have a lock on the door. That's a freaking must.
Draft Day for Moms. Let's make it happen.
xoxo Big Mama
Friday, April 24, 2015
Deals and Steals
I love clothes and shopping. I certainly don't want to sound shallow but yes, I just love it. I can remember being in the 7th grade and saving for a pair of gold tennis shoes (yes, I was a baller even then) and visiting the mall to pet them until I had enough money to buy them. I can remember standing at the register and purchasing them, as sad as that is. I have always loved clothes, shoes, accessories, and as I have aged and matured (and had kids to shrink my fashion budget), I have grown to increasingly love a deal. I love the feeling that I saved money, I love snagging something and feeling the excitement, and I have done some crazy things in the name of a deal.
The most recent crazy mission was going to Target last Sunday at the time that it opened in hopes of snagging a piece of the Lilly Pulitzer line that came out as a designer collaboration.
Lilly Pulitzer for Target
I included the link even though everything sold out in about 3 seconds, waaaah. If you have followed any of the Target designer collaborations you probably know that people get there when it comes out and often buy things they don't even need or want and resell them for even more money on ebay or some other way. I personally just love Lilly Pulitzer and the fun colors and designs and wanted to see if I could snag a dress or cover up. I knew that I for sure would have to get there the day they put out the collection and figured I might as well go there when the store opened in hopes of more options. I didn't know that when I pulled in 30 minutes before target even opened I would already be behind 200 women already there! I also didn't realize that people turn into absolutely crazy wolves when these things come out as I had never gotten there for the opening of a designer collaborations before, but it was nuts.
Once I finally got the women's area the only things left were a dress in a size that wasn't mine (but it was my mom's size!) and a pair of flip flops that weren't my size (but they were my sisters!). I snagged the two items and they are actually on their way to my mom and sister already. Little buggers totally got a score.
When I was over in home section pouting and watching 2 tiny old ladies fight over a Lilly lawn chair and cushion, I saw a women around my size pushing around a huge shopping cart with at least 20 Lilly clothing items and said, "Man, you must have been first in line!" She confessed she was in the front of the line and also a savvy shopper, and that some of the clothing items were just the largest size for little girls, or the equivalent of girls size 14-16. It hadn't occurred to me that I was in fact around the same size as I was at 16, with boobs hanging about a foot lower. I would have never thought to look in that section but now, at about 11 minutes into Target being open, it was gone. But the adorable girl and I befriended each other over the madness and she offered that I could follow her to the dressing room and take any of her discards.....genius! So, when searching out deals, don't be afraid to be friendly and make a few buddies along the way. You never know how it might help!
I followed them like a sad puppy and waited while she tried on all her items and discarded about half, and as it turned out, I got 3 things she didn't want! All in the largest little girls size. The cut was a little boxy, I guess that's the standard for children's clothing, so during Monday while my kids were at Mother's Day Out, I promptly took them to a local seamstress so that she can take them in a smidge at the waist. This was one of the girl's dresses and as you can see it's a tad boxy so I can't wait to see how it fits when I get it back from the seamstress. Please pardon the bright workout socks
At this point I found a pair of sandals that were my size with a fun pineapple on them. I still think they're really cute but they were $30.00 and not made especially awesome, I after some consideration I felt like I could deal without them. The same goes for the drink stirrers below them. I still think they're ADORABLE but realistically my drinking typically goes something like squeezing myself a glass and a half from my box of wine that's always on top of the fridge, so they're just not realistically going to fit into my every day life. I do feel like we actually entertain a pretty good amount but even when we do it seems it's a shower with mimosas or a cookout with wine and beer. So, life goals include having a signature drink besides boxed wine and LaCroix soda (hello mommy spritzer, delish!) so that I can buy adorable drink stirrers in the future.
Since I am always hunting down a deal I thought I would share a few more Splurge and Steal comparisons I am currently pining for.
1. Tassel earrings and tassels overall are definitely a trend I am loving. I want to tassel my damn body I love them so much. I don't think my style is really bohemian, more like "a little preppy with a touch of funky," but I do like mixing in bohemian moments sometimes. Most of the time if I go too bohemian, like the adorable kimonos that are everywhere, I look more homeless than Coachella chic, so I have to be careful. I have wanted these Oscar De La Renta Tassel earrings for foreeeever and a day. But even if I was Beyonce I don't know that I would get them because that's just a really overpriced beaded earring! But still, I die. I love big jewelry and costume jewelry, it's such a fun and quick and easy way to dress up an outfit.
Splurge
Oscar De La Renta Tassel Earring
Steal
Steal Tassel Earring
I have seen quite a few copies of this fabulous earring but this one has to the best. It's spot on!
2. Lululemon. Oh you vixen. If you would have told me years ago I would be spending upwards of $60 on a workout shirt I would have laughed in your face really hard. It's just so ridiculous. But yet somehow they suck me in every time. I don't know what you put in your wonder under pants Lulu but you're a genius! They just fit so well and make you feel good, and quite frankly workout clothes is what I am wearing 90% of the time at this stage in my life. So there I go to spend all my money. But still, it is really hard for me to wrap my head around a bra that is over $50. Nobody will see it so it's just my dirty little expensive secret. But they are fun and the straps are so fun, they do tempt me. Well luckily one of my favorite retailers for deals and steals, Forever 21, has started to make some bras just like Lulu's!! I even went to try them on in the store to see if they had any support, even though I don't need much because my boobs are like clementines in panty hose, and just need a basic teenager A cup support. But they were fabulous! I felt like I could definitely run a few miles in them. I didn't get one that day because I was just returning something and being strong but it's definitely on my shopping list for May.
Splurge
Lululemon Caged Bra
Steal
Forever21 Caged Bra
With mother's day approaching, does your momma or wifey need a tassel earring or caged bra!? Happy Deal Hunting!
xoxo Big Mama
The most recent crazy mission was going to Target last Sunday at the time that it opened in hopes of snagging a piece of the Lilly Pulitzer line that came out as a designer collaboration.
Lilly Pulitzer for Target
I included the link even though everything sold out in about 3 seconds, waaaah. If you have followed any of the Target designer collaborations you probably know that people get there when it comes out and often buy things they don't even need or want and resell them for even more money on ebay or some other way. I personally just love Lilly Pulitzer and the fun colors and designs and wanted to see if I could snag a dress or cover up. I knew that I for sure would have to get there the day they put out the collection and figured I might as well go there when the store opened in hopes of more options. I didn't know that when I pulled in 30 minutes before target even opened I would already be behind 200 women already there! I also didn't realize that people turn into absolutely crazy wolves when these things come out as I had never gotten there for the opening of a designer collaborations before, but it was nuts.
Once I finally got the women's area the only things left were a dress in a size that wasn't mine (but it was my mom's size!) and a pair of flip flops that weren't my size (but they were my sisters!). I snagged the two items and they are actually on their way to my mom and sister already. Little buggers totally got a score.
I moped on over to the home section because I knew there was a pineapple plate that Lilly did that I wanted and I did get that! I think it's adorable and I can't wait to use it at my next shower or dinner.
I followed them like a sad puppy and waited while she tried on all her items and discarded about half, and as it turned out, I got 3 things she didn't want! All in the largest little girls size. The cut was a little boxy, I guess that's the standard for children's clothing, so during Monday while my kids were at Mother's Day Out, I promptly took them to a local seamstress so that she can take them in a smidge at the waist. This was one of the girl's dresses and as you can see it's a tad boxy so I can't wait to see how it fits when I get it back from the seamstress. Please pardon the bright workout socks
Since I am always hunting down a deal I thought I would share a few more Splurge and Steal comparisons I am currently pining for.
1. Tassel earrings and tassels overall are definitely a trend I am loving. I want to tassel my damn body I love them so much. I don't think my style is really bohemian, more like "a little preppy with a touch of funky," but I do like mixing in bohemian moments sometimes. Most of the time if I go too bohemian, like the adorable kimonos that are everywhere, I look more homeless than Coachella chic, so I have to be careful. I have wanted these Oscar De La Renta Tassel earrings for foreeeever and a day. But even if I was Beyonce I don't know that I would get them because that's just a really overpriced beaded earring! But still, I die. I love big jewelry and costume jewelry, it's such a fun and quick and easy way to dress up an outfit.
Splurge
Oscar De La Renta Tassel Earring
Steal
Steal Tassel Earring
I have seen quite a few copies of this fabulous earring but this one has to the best. It's spot on!
2. Lululemon. Oh you vixen. If you would have told me years ago I would be spending upwards of $60 on a workout shirt I would have laughed in your face really hard. It's just so ridiculous. But yet somehow they suck me in every time. I don't know what you put in your wonder under pants Lulu but you're a genius! They just fit so well and make you feel good, and quite frankly workout clothes is what I am wearing 90% of the time at this stage in my life. So there I go to spend all my money. But still, it is really hard for me to wrap my head around a bra that is over $50. Nobody will see it so it's just my dirty little expensive secret. But they are fun and the straps are so fun, they do tempt me. Well luckily one of my favorite retailers for deals and steals, Forever 21, has started to make some bras just like Lulu's!! I even went to try them on in the store to see if they had any support, even though I don't need much because my boobs are like clementines in panty hose, and just need a basic teenager A cup support. But they were fabulous! I felt like I could definitely run a few miles in them. I didn't get one that day because I was just returning something and being strong but it's definitely on my shopping list for May.
Splurge
Lululemon Caged Bra
Steal
Forever21 Caged Bra
With mother's day approaching, does your momma or wifey need a tassel earring or caged bra!? Happy Deal Hunting!
xoxo Big Mama
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Weddings and Love
One of my very favorite things to do is write. I wish I got to do it more and I really wish I was able to just shoot off more quick blurbs but I tend to need to be in the element, and have a subject that I want to write about.
I had the absolute HONOR of writing 2 gorgeous couple's engagement and courtship story and it was really, really fun. They were for my brother and my brother-in-law.
This summer my brother Matt will marry his fiance Kelsey, and I am so incredibly thrilled for them. Their story can be found at http://theknot.com/us/fairchildsherman. I also got to write a little something for my brother-in-law Press and his bride-to-be, Brooklyn. You can read their story at http://www.theknot.com/us/brooklyn-scheer-and-press-taylor-jul-2015.
How cute are these couples? I just love love. I feel incredibly lucky that I married a man whose family is of the utmost importance to him. If anything, our issue is that both of our families mean so much to us, we have to work hard to make sure we split time between them evenly. I am the oldest of 5 children and Zac is the oldest of 4, so we have a lot of people to care about!
As to be expected, writing these stories brought me back to the time that I dated my husband and our engagement and early marriage. I kind of think that someone who knows me well would say that when I want something I will probably go after it fairly aggressively. Zac Taylor was no different :) I remember the first time I saw him and as cliche as it sounds I was absolutely floored with not only his handsome face and his nice booty, but also the humble, kind air he had about him. Getting to know him better did not disappoint and only made me more sure of the fact that I needed to get this dude on lock-down.
We only dated a year and were engaged about a year as well, so when we were in the early stages of our marriage, we were still figuring each other out. I giggle to myself thinking back on those early times and our tiny apartment stuffed with so much furniture and crap from Hobby Lobby. I wanted so badly to be the perfect housewife. Since that time, I have learned A LOT.
I am certainly not an expert on marriages, relationships, guys.....really I am not an expert on anything except for maybe strong coffee, boxed wine, and the cheese bin at Trader Joe's. I know a disturbing amount on those 3 subjects and if you need any advice, feel free to contact me. Nevertheless, I always find it interesting to hear different perspectives from people in all stages of marriage - newlyweds, young kids, empty nesters, 60 years. I know I can always learn. Zac and I will be married 7 years in April. Here is where I am ......
Fight kind
In the beginning of our marriage I tested Zac. A LOT. Lawd I was like 27 shades of crazy. I don't know why girls do this but I am guilty. I think I just wanted to make really really sure he wasn't going to run? I blamed it on birth control for a little bit then I got the heck off that crazy stuff. Geez I don't know. But when I look back on that time, I am glad to say I have grown enough to fight more fairly. If something upsets me, I now usually take some time to dwell on it, whether it be a few hours or a day or two, instead of flying off the handle a la 2007. Half the time, whatever it was becomes clearly irrational after that "thinking" time and I am glad I didn't bring it up. The other half, it's still bothering me, but I'm thinking more clearly, and I can present it in a way that's not hurtful, and can help us solve the issue and move forward. My angel of a husband pretty much never has issues to bring up. That drives me koo koo bonkers crazy. But what can I say he's a low-maintenance dude. The way that I can thank him for that is to do my best to meet him in the middle there and tone down my crazy. I didn't say make it disappear, I'm not a magician! But I can work hard to make sure to collect my thoughts before making an issue out of nothing. (For the record, I don't understand, and I will never understand, why men need to go to the bathroom for longer than 3 minutes. I am however smart enough to realize this isn't changing. I will accept this as one of those phenomenons that cannot be explained, like why Britany Spears decided to shave her head that one day.)
Let them enjoy their favorites
All fall, I am mom, dad, caretaker, boo-boo fixer, dinner maker, basketball technique suggester (didn't say they're good suggestions, but I try.) That does mean that when January rolls around and football season is done, I am spent. I look forward to Zac being home, and an extra set of hands so I don't feel like my entire life is devoted to changing sheets and washing sippy cups. I also look forward to watching the Real Housewives in my bed, in my underwear, with a grilled cheese or two, on a random Saturday. Zac lets me do that because he knows that's my happy place. On the same note, even though it can feel like ground hog day, I let him play basketball for hours at the Y every weekend, because that's what makes him happy. Listen marriage is a hot mess of compromise and making sure everybody gets to take equal naps. But if you can make sure each other gets to do their "favorites," it's probably going to go well from there. Oh and I have come a long way on allowing him to do it guilt free too. I think I used to make him feel super duper guilty and I don't' know why but that was probably even worse than just not letting him go. So, I make sure that if he is going to go, that's it, nothing else said. Enjoy.
Save your best for the hubby
Some days, cheese is the glue that holds my life together. This is pretty accurate in the fall. Every day is just a feeble attempt to please all the people in my life. Family, friends, my kids, and sometimes, my hubby comes last. I have worked really hard to make this not happen. At the end of a day of comforting kids, hanging with girlfriends, cooking dinner, etc. etc. I have nothing left to give the hubs. This happens more than I would like to admit. But instead of giving up I try to remember he really doesn't need crazy things. He just needs a gentle female to welcome him home. This is probably old-fashioned but I don't really care because it rings true for me. The biggest thing I have noticed when dealing with all my boys is that they respond to me being GENTLE. Weird concept right? But these are simple, rough creatures, men. All 3 of my guys enjoy their heads being scratched. They enjoy when I speak soft, kind words, encouraging words. They like fresh cookies and they all say something when I am in soft jammies fresh out of the shower ("mom, you smell deeeeelicious!). There is no shame in my old-fashioned game. This works, I promise! Put on a soft shirt, spritz some perfume, go up behind your husband and scratch his head. You're welcome.
Have marriage secrets
If I told you our marriage secrets I would have to kill you so I will spare you on that. And I am not talking about your broccoli farts under the covers while you watch Modern Family. I mean maybe sneaking Chipolte into a movie theater together and laughing hysterically while you take it out of your purse, cough cough. This is something that you both love, and probably wouldn't really be acceptable or socially "normal," but what is normal anyway? These kind of secrets make you giggle when you think about them on a random Thursday at 2, and they make your relationship special because you just did it with that person. Also, your husband might let you buy lots of really pretty designer bags if they're big enough to sneak in lots of food to movie theaters. Don't forget the "wrap" because you're "so cold" to cover up your fast food. Oh and be careful crunching those chips, wait for a loud boom ;)
Don't compare
I have struggled with this in different aspects of my life. Jealously over clothes, where someone lives, the trips they might take. Of course a relationship is no different, and I have envied things other people may seem to have. It doesn't get me anywhere, and all it does is break down the foundation Zac and I have worked very hard to build. I try very hard now to remember that everyone's relationship is different. I try very hard not to covet anything, whether it be material or a way another couple may do things or even parent. I try to remember that I am INSANELY lucky to have 2 beautiful boys and a hunky husband that care about me. I am with a man that helps me grow.....holds my hand.....likes kissin.....and quite frankly, he puts up with all of me. That's enough. We have enough.
To my precious hubby -I am so glad you are the one whom all my memories are with. I loved getting lost in Italy with you. I loved watching you practice in the freezing cold in the Canadian Football League even though I was the only wife in the stands. I loved our first apartment even though we banged our knees every 3 feet because there was too much stuff in it. I loved watching you take a nap after I gave birth to Luke. Having babies wears you out, you sleepy hunk. I am so glad you are the one God chose for me to make babies with. You are the best at giving me dem babies. I would love if God gave us another baby. I know he might not, but I hope he does.
Congratulations to my brother and brother in law on their upcoming marriages. Fight fair, and take naps together. I don't have all the answers but I know it helps to fight like heck to make yours the best darn marriage it can be. I love you to the moon and back Zac.
xo Big Mama
I had the absolute HONOR of writing 2 gorgeous couple's engagement and courtship story and it was really, really fun. They were for my brother and my brother-in-law.
This summer my brother Matt will marry his fiance Kelsey, and I am so incredibly thrilled for them. Their story can be found at http://theknot.com/us/fairchildsherman. I also got to write a little something for my brother-in-law Press and his bride-to-be, Brooklyn. You can read their story at http://www.theknot.com/us/brooklyn-scheer-and-press-taylor-jul-2015.
How cute are these couples? I just love love. I feel incredibly lucky that I married a man whose family is of the utmost importance to him. If anything, our issue is that both of our families mean so much to us, we have to work hard to make sure we split time between them evenly. I am the oldest of 5 children and Zac is the oldest of 4, so we have a lot of people to care about!
As to be expected, writing these stories brought me back to the time that I dated my husband and our engagement and early marriage. I kind of think that someone who knows me well would say that when I want something I will probably go after it fairly aggressively. Zac Taylor was no different :) I remember the first time I saw him and as cliche as it sounds I was absolutely floored with not only his handsome face and his nice booty, but also the humble, kind air he had about him. Getting to know him better did not disappoint and only made me more sure of the fact that I needed to get this dude on lock-down.
We only dated a year and were engaged about a year as well, so when we were in the early stages of our marriage, we were still figuring each other out. I giggle to myself thinking back on those early times and our tiny apartment stuffed with so much furniture and crap from Hobby Lobby. I wanted so badly to be the perfect housewife. Since that time, I have learned A LOT.
I am certainly not an expert on marriages, relationships, guys.....really I am not an expert on anything except for maybe strong coffee, boxed wine, and the cheese bin at Trader Joe's. I know a disturbing amount on those 3 subjects and if you need any advice, feel free to contact me. Nevertheless, I always find it interesting to hear different perspectives from people in all stages of marriage - newlyweds, young kids, empty nesters, 60 years. I know I can always learn. Zac and I will be married 7 years in April. Here is where I am ......
Fight kind
In the beginning of our marriage I tested Zac. A LOT. Lawd I was like 27 shades of crazy. I don't know why girls do this but I am guilty. I think I just wanted to make really really sure he wasn't going to run? I blamed it on birth control for a little bit then I got the heck off that crazy stuff. Geez I don't know. But when I look back on that time, I am glad to say I have grown enough to fight more fairly. If something upsets me, I now usually take some time to dwell on it, whether it be a few hours or a day or two, instead of flying off the handle a la 2007. Half the time, whatever it was becomes clearly irrational after that "thinking" time and I am glad I didn't bring it up. The other half, it's still bothering me, but I'm thinking more clearly, and I can present it in a way that's not hurtful, and can help us solve the issue and move forward. My angel of a husband pretty much never has issues to bring up. That drives me koo koo bonkers crazy. But what can I say he's a low-maintenance dude. The way that I can thank him for that is to do my best to meet him in the middle there and tone down my crazy. I didn't say make it disappear, I'm not a magician! But I can work hard to make sure to collect my thoughts before making an issue out of nothing. (For the record, I don't understand, and I will never understand, why men need to go to the bathroom for longer than 3 minutes. I am however smart enough to realize this isn't changing. I will accept this as one of those phenomenons that cannot be explained, like why Britany Spears decided to shave her head that one day.)
Let them enjoy their favorites
All fall, I am mom, dad, caretaker, boo-boo fixer, dinner maker, basketball technique suggester (didn't say they're good suggestions, but I try.) That does mean that when January rolls around and football season is done, I am spent. I look forward to Zac being home, and an extra set of hands so I don't feel like my entire life is devoted to changing sheets and washing sippy cups. I also look forward to watching the Real Housewives in my bed, in my underwear, with a grilled cheese or two, on a random Saturday. Zac lets me do that because he knows that's my happy place. On the same note, even though it can feel like ground hog day, I let him play basketball for hours at the Y every weekend, because that's what makes him happy. Listen marriage is a hot mess of compromise and making sure everybody gets to take equal naps. But if you can make sure each other gets to do their "favorites," it's probably going to go well from there. Oh and I have come a long way on allowing him to do it guilt free too. I think I used to make him feel super duper guilty and I don't' know why but that was probably even worse than just not letting him go. So, I make sure that if he is going to go, that's it, nothing else said. Enjoy.
Save your best for the hubby
Some days, cheese is the glue that holds my life together. This is pretty accurate in the fall. Every day is just a feeble attempt to please all the people in my life. Family, friends, my kids, and sometimes, my hubby comes last. I have worked really hard to make this not happen. At the end of a day of comforting kids, hanging with girlfriends, cooking dinner, etc. etc. I have nothing left to give the hubs. This happens more than I would like to admit. But instead of giving up I try to remember he really doesn't need crazy things. He just needs a gentle female to welcome him home. This is probably old-fashioned but I don't really care because it rings true for me. The biggest thing I have noticed when dealing with all my boys is that they respond to me being GENTLE. Weird concept right? But these are simple, rough creatures, men. All 3 of my guys enjoy their heads being scratched. They enjoy when I speak soft, kind words, encouraging words. They like fresh cookies and they all say something when I am in soft jammies fresh out of the shower ("mom, you smell deeeeelicious!). There is no shame in my old-fashioned game. This works, I promise! Put on a soft shirt, spritz some perfume, go up behind your husband and scratch his head. You're welcome.
Have marriage secrets
If I told you our marriage secrets I would have to kill you so I will spare you on that. And I am not talking about your broccoli farts under the covers while you watch Modern Family. I mean maybe sneaking Chipolte into a movie theater together and laughing hysterically while you take it out of your purse, cough cough. This is something that you both love, and probably wouldn't really be acceptable or socially "normal," but what is normal anyway? These kind of secrets make you giggle when you think about them on a random Thursday at 2, and they make your relationship special because you just did it with that person. Also, your husband might let you buy lots of really pretty designer bags if they're big enough to sneak in lots of food to movie theaters. Don't forget the "wrap" because you're "so cold" to cover up your fast food. Oh and be careful crunching those chips, wait for a loud boom ;)
Don't compare
I have struggled with this in different aspects of my life. Jealously over clothes, where someone lives, the trips they might take. Of course a relationship is no different, and I have envied things other people may seem to have. It doesn't get me anywhere, and all it does is break down the foundation Zac and I have worked very hard to build. I try very hard now to remember that everyone's relationship is different. I try very hard not to covet anything, whether it be material or a way another couple may do things or even parent. I try to remember that I am INSANELY lucky to have 2 beautiful boys and a hunky husband that care about me. I am with a man that helps me grow.....holds my hand.....likes kissin.....and quite frankly, he puts up with all of me. That's enough. We have enough.
To my precious hubby -I am so glad you are the one whom all my memories are with. I loved getting lost in Italy with you. I loved watching you practice in the freezing cold in the Canadian Football League even though I was the only wife in the stands. I loved our first apartment even though we banged our knees every 3 feet because there was too much stuff in it. I loved watching you take a nap after I gave birth to Luke. Having babies wears you out, you sleepy hunk. I am so glad you are the one God chose for me to make babies with. You are the best at giving me dem babies. I would love if God gave us another baby. I know he might not, but I hope he does.
Congratulations to my brother and brother in law on their upcoming marriages. Fight fair, and take naps together. I don't have all the answers but I know it helps to fight like heck to make yours the best darn marriage it can be. I love you to the moon and back Zac.
xo Big Mama
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Two year old time bomb
EhrrrmiGod I always want to blog more, but I don't know what happens and the day just melts away. In the early morning hours I have big dreams to check off my entire to-do list from 1-4, mop the floors, write a blog, take a bath and figure out why I cannot get rid of my saddle bags. I truly don't know what ends up happening during these hours but it's a mix of wandering around the house in a daze from eating a lot of cheese, half-heartedly loading the dishwasher, watching the Real Housewives and other nonsense that is amazing, and putting things in my shopping bag online that I pretend to get. It's like ghost retail therapy and it soothes me.
But Lord help me with my current afternoon issue. My 4 year old has completely given up his nap. I guess this is to be expected, kids don't nap until they're 18? But his entire life, he has been an every day, 3-4 hour napper. Of course he went through the typical stages where he would fight it or not nap here and there but he really was the sleeping champ. He does not nap anymore, but I have always said that I still expect him to go in his room and "rest." I believe every kid needs this time that doesn't include Ipads, television, or even talking really. Letting their mind rest is important, and by golly, momma has to have her Real Housewives time or I am gonna lose my marbles.
Which brings me to losing my marbles. So my Brooks used to pretty much obey me and "rest" quietly from about 1-4. I guess in retrospect that was pretty awesome but I just expected it and didn't think much of it. Well now his imagination is running wild at all times and we are entering a little clingy phase, and he comes out about every 7 1/2 minutes with some new excuse, question, or comment. I would be more amused with the insane excuses he comes up with if I weren't so exhausted. Some urgent nap time issues lately include:
1. He is king of the dinosaur village, but he realizes he does not have a queen. He comes in to tell me that he does not want to get married. Um, you're 49 months old. Go to bed.
2. His stomach hurts and he isn't sure if it's because he had 3 hard boiled eggs within 20 minutes or he has to poop. Lawd help me why did I let you eat the eggs, it's both of those issues.
3. He wants to cuddle. So I am a horribly witchy mom if I don't say yes right? Because immediately after I will read about 52 pinterest pins or facebook statuses about appreciating the moment or how in four seconds I will blink and they will be 15 and not want to cuddle with me ever again. Why is this so hard and why do I want to scratch my eyes out?
4. He wants me to know that Pteranodons were actually not dinosaurs but lived in the same time period. He is worried that I didn't know this and needed to make sure that I had this information.
Good. Lord. Being a mom is so. dang. hard. It takes the patience of Jobe. It takes every bit of physical energy I might have after dragging my haggard mom body to pilates. It takes all the kindness I have left in my body so much that when my husband gets home all I have left in me is to pat him on the head and maybe ruffle his hair. I know I should appreciate the moments. They're fleeting, and my kids are sweet, growing little raggamuffins that I miss when I am not with them.
But
But
But
I am so darn tired.
In addition to my no-napping 4 year old, my 2 year old literally wakes up from his nap the crankiest human alive. Seriously, take the crankiest person you have EVER met in your ENTIRE life and times it by about 73. He is spitting nails and the only way to remedy him out of it is to cuddle him in just the right cradling manner while also whispering him promises of mickey mouse clubhouse and as many bananas as he wants. If your octave is too high in your voice or you get out of rythym just slightly he is liable to blow. He is a tiny ticking time bomb. So today he wakes up in his usual grumpy old man mood and as I am coddling him, and my 4 year old mumbles under his breath, "what is he like the Queen of England?" TRUTH. But at the same time I so afraid to mess with this little dragon who is breathing fire.
So as a result of the no-napper and answering questions ever 7-9 minutes during the afternoon hours + the addition of the toddler who wakes up as the devil from his nap, the hours between 3 and 6 feel like about 82 days, roughly. As I wrap up this blog my kids are awake and the cranky one is writhing on the floor, and the 4 year old just told me he is scared of me because my face is shiny.
But it's ok because the 42 minutes until my husband gets home are going to go super quickly! Carry on mommas.
-Big Mama Taylor
But Lord help me with my current afternoon issue. My 4 year old has completely given up his nap. I guess this is to be expected, kids don't nap until they're 18? But his entire life, he has been an every day, 3-4 hour napper. Of course he went through the typical stages where he would fight it or not nap here and there but he really was the sleeping champ. He does not nap anymore, but I have always said that I still expect him to go in his room and "rest." I believe every kid needs this time that doesn't include Ipads, television, or even talking really. Letting their mind rest is important, and by golly, momma has to have her Real Housewives time or I am gonna lose my marbles.
Which brings me to losing my marbles. So my Brooks used to pretty much obey me and "rest" quietly from about 1-4. I guess in retrospect that was pretty awesome but I just expected it and didn't think much of it. Well now his imagination is running wild at all times and we are entering a little clingy phase, and he comes out about every 7 1/2 minutes with some new excuse, question, or comment. I would be more amused with the insane excuses he comes up with if I weren't so exhausted. Some urgent nap time issues lately include:
1. He is king of the dinosaur village, but he realizes he does not have a queen. He comes in to tell me that he does not want to get married. Um, you're 49 months old. Go to bed.
2. His stomach hurts and he isn't sure if it's because he had 3 hard boiled eggs within 20 minutes or he has to poop. Lawd help me why did I let you eat the eggs, it's both of those issues.
3. He wants to cuddle. So I am a horribly witchy mom if I don't say yes right? Because immediately after I will read about 52 pinterest pins or facebook statuses about appreciating the moment or how in four seconds I will blink and they will be 15 and not want to cuddle with me ever again. Why is this so hard and why do I want to scratch my eyes out?
4. He wants me to know that Pteranodons were actually not dinosaurs but lived in the same time period. He is worried that I didn't know this and needed to make sure that I had this information.
Good. Lord. Being a mom is so. dang. hard. It takes the patience of Jobe. It takes every bit of physical energy I might have after dragging my haggard mom body to pilates. It takes all the kindness I have left in my body so much that when my husband gets home all I have left in me is to pat him on the head and maybe ruffle his hair. I know I should appreciate the moments. They're fleeting, and my kids are sweet, growing little raggamuffins that I miss when I am not with them.
But
But
But
I am so darn tired.
In addition to my no-napping 4 year old, my 2 year old literally wakes up from his nap the crankiest human alive. Seriously, take the crankiest person you have EVER met in your ENTIRE life and times it by about 73. He is spitting nails and the only way to remedy him out of it is to cuddle him in just the right cradling manner while also whispering him promises of mickey mouse clubhouse and as many bananas as he wants. If your octave is too high in your voice or you get out of rythym just slightly he is liable to blow. He is a tiny ticking time bomb. So today he wakes up in his usual grumpy old man mood and as I am coddling him, and my 4 year old mumbles under his breath, "what is he like the Queen of England?" TRUTH. But at the same time I so afraid to mess with this little dragon who is breathing fire.
So as a result of the no-napper and answering questions ever 7-9 minutes during the afternoon hours + the addition of the toddler who wakes up as the devil from his nap, the hours between 3 and 6 feel like about 82 days, roughly. As I wrap up this blog my kids are awake and the cranky one is writhing on the floor, and the 4 year old just told me he is scared of me because my face is shiny.
But it's ok because the 42 minutes until my husband gets home are going to go super quickly! Carry on mommas.
-Big Mama Taylor
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