What I learned from my sister Kathryn

I have been lucky enough to host my sister in law Kathryn here at our house for a few days. She is 28 years old and has down syndrome. She is hilarious, thoughtful, kind, loves on my kids, and I'm so happy she got to come stay with us and I got to spoil her a little.

As I should have probably expected I learned a few lessons from Kathryn this week. I have always known her to be bubbly and the friendliest person I have ever met, and being around her sporadically over the past 7 or eight years I always leave her presence feeling happy and reminded that I need to appreciate things. However, being with her constantly for a few days really brought these lessons and perspective to a whole new level.

1. Expect the best in people
Everywhere we went this week, Kathryn talked to everyone. Men, women, old, young, the world is this girl's oyster. The thing about Kathryn is she expects that every person is going to be her new best friend, and isn't this really how we all should be living? I saw the grumpy lifeguard at the YMCA who never smiles, ever, come out of his shell and talk to this sweet girl for 30 minutes. I saw people all over town brighten up just a little with Kathryn's presence because, quite frankly, you can't help it. This is something that I really needed to be reminded of. Why wouldn't I want to walk around every day like someone just gave me a free puppy? Life is good, I have so much to be thankful for, and God expects me to be a disciple of his and go out and spread Joy. SO happy he sent me Kathryn to remind me of this. This girl traveled by herself from Oklahoma City all the way to Ft Lauderdale. She took 2 separate flights and even stopped on her second flight, and as I expected she rocked it! She had absolutely no fear about the day and I think it must be so wonderful to live in a place where you expect people to be kind, and therefore expect a day of travel to be fun, and why would it be scary!?

2. Share your Joy. Appreciate your parents.
These two went hand in hand for Kathryn this week. At every realization that we were doing something fun and exciting, she wanted to tell someone, and she wanted to share it with her parents. If she was eating a cheeseburger, before she took that second bite, she wanted to make sure her parents knew how lucky she was to be eating that cheeseburger. On the way to the beach? Better tell my parents!

Why wouldn't we share our joy with everyone? It's just such a happy place to live. Wouldn't it be amazing if your best friend shared when they were happy? And genuinely celebrated with you when you were happy? That's the thing about Kathryn as well - it's not just about her. She wants you to be joyous with her!

This appreciation Kathryn has for her parents also reminded me how lucky I am to have such wonderful moms. My mom adopted my youngest sister Selena and has been an unbelievable example to me in selflessness. She always puts her family first and has spent her whole life moving around so that my dad's career could become what it has. She is the most generous person I have ever known. She is generous of her time, and has taught me so much about being a wonderful wife and mother in a very tough profession. I never appreciated how hard it must have been growing up to move constantly and handle 4 children, then to feel the calling to adopt a fifth. Now that I have my own children and a husband who is working in this profession, I am in awe at what she has done for our family. Love you Karbear.

I also have the utmost respect for the sacrifices my mother in law Julie made. Though I know she would never use the word sacrifice. She is such an awesome mom and has raised Kathryn to be the most special girl you could ever hope to meet. All of her children, including my husband, are God-fearing people with huge hearts. That's really all I could ever hope for in my boys. She has also welcomed me into their family as if I was her daughter from day 1. I'm pretty lucky!

3. Slow down the moments and love on your kids.
Every time she was with one of my boys Kathryn slowed her pace. This girl is a nonstop energized machine, so this was a noticeable difference. She stopped what she was doing, got down on their level, whether it was my 2 year old or baby, and smiled kindly at them. She stopped to sit with Brooks and talk about dinosaurs. She crouched on her knees and pushed Thomas the Train around the station for 20 minutes even though I knew it didn't interest her one bit. She did it for my Brooks. She put down her phone, ignored her show, and was all in.

When we got home from a really busy day at the YMCA swimming, Luke was crying and I knew he was overtired. I planned to get him in his crib as fast as possible so he could rest. My sister had other plans. She asked kindly to rock my baby to sleep for his nap. I figured she would bounce him by his crib and put him in. Instead, she took my Luke and started to hum to him and walked him to his room. Her calm demeanor immediately calmed my screaming baby. Moving slowly, she changed his diaper, staring into his eyes and cooing the whole time. She kissed his forehead when she was done, she scooped him up, and she rocked him in her arms until he closed his eyes. I am so focused on getting through the day I can't tell you the last time I slowed down, put my phone away, and rocked my baby to sleep. Shameful!!!! This sweet girl is so good to my kids I could just burst.

4. She is intimidated by no one!
This is a picture of Kathryn on Dolphins family night with the three Miami Dolphin Quarterbacks and my husband Zac and our boys. You better believe Kathryn owned that dinner room with the entire team! Every time I turned around, she was talking to someone new, engaging them and making them laugh. After having grown up around athletes and sports my whole life, I have to say that I am not necessarily intimidated by athletes. But I have been intimidated by others in my life, and I think it has mostly been in the form of other moms who appear to be doing it all. But what good does this do me? God has equipped me with the tools I need to raise my family and be a good wife to my husband so being intimidated, which often turns into jealously for me, does me (and my family) no good. The thing about this attitude is that for Kathryn it comes from a place of confidence and I have so much respect for that! She walks in the room and she knows she is smart, funny, and lively, and those around her can't help but notice too.

I often look back and read certain blogs and I look forward to reading this in a year on a rainy day when I need to be reminded of all the things my sister Kathryn has taught me. Love you sis! Can't wait for our next girls trip.