It's a Hard Knock Life

Brooks and I are trying to support the husband by going to practice during training camp. Here is a picture of us at our first practice.





































This year, the Miami Dolphins were asked to participate in an HBO special show called "Hard Knocks." This is basically The Real Housewives of New York, for men/football fans. It's a fun, reality television type look at an NFL team as they go through training camp, detailing players and situations and video taping pretty much every second.


Being the reality television crazed lady that I am (if you aren't watching Dance Moms, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Miss Advised, you are really missing out!), I of course wouldn't mind passing through the background of a Hard Knocks shot. I mean really. I live in Weston, Florida in suburbia, I am almost 7 months pregnant with a 20 month old. My biggest excitement is seeing what things will be "Buy One Get One" at Publix Grocery store every week. So judge me if you want but this is exciting stuff.



Here are some of my thoughts on how I could get an appearance on how to get on hard knocks....

Interview Time
I know when the Hubs has his up-close and personal interview with the NFL network crew. Would it be too much to fake going into labor during this hour so that someone has to burst into the room, screaming that he needs to rush to Memorial West Hospital as soon as possible? I guess this one isn't my actual body in the shot, but it's the idea of me....and maybe they would come to the hospital for the drama!? I guess it would be an issue when they get there and it's just me eating Krispy Kreme donuts in the lobby....


Yell at refs like crazy
This one is easy for me. I already like to act like I know a lot about football and scream things like "Get an eyeglasses appointment ref!" just for fun. I'm thinking I go to practice, get the practice refs really riled up, make a scene.....I can be "crazy practice lady!"


Go to practice in bikini....covered in dolphins.....7 months pregnant
Ok I admit this one is extreme. I'm getting desperate here. However I can almost guarantee without even slight hesitation that if I saunter in with Brooks in the BOB stroller in a dolphin-clad bikini, 7 months pregnant, I will get on that show. Things to consider with bikini scenario are: 
*Getting arrested...hmm what kind of food do they have in jail? Do they have child care in jail? Not sounding so bad.
*The husband pretending not to know me. And then immediately checking me into a loony bin. He's too sweet to file for divorce, that's why I married him, but he for sure would set me up in some kind of mental facility. What if they don't allow a gal to eat 1 lb of dove chocolates a day? I wouldn't survive.


Dress brooks in dolphin costume
Does anyone know where to get a toddler sized dolphin costume? Never mind, the internet is amazing, that won't be hard. Things that concern me include: permanent scaring of Brooks, overheating inside said dolphin costume, I believe the heat index yesterday was about 172 degrees, and the chance that the little munchkin steals my thunder. This is probably my best shot, no?


These are just a few of my ideas, if you have any suggestions, I'm wide open, as the pregnancy may or may not be slowly frying my brain. Either way, don't be shocked if you hear about a spinoff coming soon to your HBO entitled "That Crazy Pregnant NFL Coaches' Wife."