Church and Food Porn

This blog will only be half serious :)
Being that I grew up Catholic, a religion I personally view to be one that is somewhat private and lacking in evangelism that other religions tend to encourage (keep in mind this is only my idiotic opinion), these next few paragraphs are going to be very foreign for me, and unlike me. However, I just have this feeling that I need to say them.

I had a wonderful, amazing church in Texas. Of course I don't think I appreciated all it offered until I left Texas, but in retrospect it was awesome. It had a mom's support group with a Christian based message every other week where they watched your child (and not just watched but loved on, sang Bible songs with, etc). It had an array of weekly Bible studies to choose from during which they again, watched your child. Did I mention all this Christian based child watching was all free? This church was led by an extremely talented Preacher whose message always seemed to be geared directly at me. He was engaging, funny and made me look forward to service. If you live in College Station you should really try Central Baptist!

Since we moved here we have been sassy about church. We tried one very close to home that we weren't sure was the right fit and then basically played church hooky for more weeks than I care to admit. Then the friend who has been so amazing to me since I moved here, Jessica, told me about a church she was going to called Calvary Sawgrass. We decided to try it this past Sunday. I dropped Brooks in the arms of a woman I could instantly tell was a Christian and would love on my son while I went to pray. Is there anything better??

Within 5 minutes of being at service, I was tearing up at the wonderful music, and I could literally feel God hug me, and maybe even whisper "welcome back." Is this the pregnant hormones? Well, maybe a little. But God loves us so much and just wants a little of our time every week. If you don't attend a church, or don't attend a church you love, I really encourage you to find one. It is honestly amazing what he can do to lift you up when you attend and give of yourself. I admit, I find it hard to go to church sometimes. My husband works a lot of hours and I am selfish of his time when he has off. When I'm alone and he's in football season, I blame it on getting there with my son by myself. But man, it helps me in every aspect of my life when I do go.

This first half of this blog post today was very hard for me. I am not the type to talk about my relationship with God. Just not my style. But I really felt a calling from him to write about this and encourage others to find a church if they don't have one. I appreciate it if you just read every word. Below I found a verse from the Bible about finding the right church. Below that I continue on my blog with other musings :)

Romans 16:16 ESV
Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.

With that being said, though I am striving daily to become a better daughter, mother, and wife for God, I must talk about a fact. When I am pregnant, food becomes my porn. Oh. My. Gosh. Food is all I have. If you come at me during meal time, I will literally come back at you like a spider monkey.

I am an eater. Can't really remember a time when I didn't love food. But being pregnant brings my relationship with food to another level. Before we may have been best friends? We have known each other forever, we know everything about one another, our likes our dislikes, we love another. When I am pregnant, the relationship changes. One might say....we become lovers. I lust for food. I think about food pretty much all day long. I think about food in my car, at the gym while I am lifting, at the park when a mom breaks out a snack pack. I think about my dinner when I'm eating breakfast. I start sweating with excitement when I know I'm going to eat a certain food I love. It's lust. And food is my porn.

With food as my lover, I begin to eat things I normally do not eat. You see I have a few vices in life that I love for which pregnancy creates a huge hurdle. They are: running, wine and coffee. I had complications with my first pregnancy making running long distances off limits. We all know nobody likes a drunk preggo lady so wine is off the shelf for 10 months. I do have coffee in moderation, but feel immense guilt the entire time, and I do not get to have my venti starbucks jet fuel that makes me even more on crack than I already am. All I'm left with is food! So you better believe that I'm going to be eating some sassy things.

About 2 weeks ago I took my little boy to Target to get a Little Tikes basketball hoop to play with and saw ground beef mini sliders on sale. They expired the next day and I'd have to make them that night. My biggest worry was that it was 3 p.m., how would I make it until 7 p.m. when my hubby returned home to eat these things!? I LOVVVVE a good burger, and since these were little mini sliders, I figured they were basically diet burgers. If you know me, you know that I eat mostly pretty healthy, so the image later that night of a gal in a gross old t-shirt and my husbands plaid boxers frying up burgers with the grease hitting me was quite a site. This is what pregnancy does to people! I still have dreams about those sliders and know I will have them again. To be honest I really don't know if I can type about them and not have them tonight, so Zac if you're reading this, we are having mini burgers tonight!

For some reason I also use pregnancy as an excuse to resort back to a habit that I really got carried away with during my first pregnancy: eating in bed. If you want to feel totally gross, then try eating a taco salad in bed. You know you have a problem when you put on a special "eating in bed shirt," because you know it will be covered in ground beef and sour cream when you are done and you don't want to get your jammies all gross.

What naturally goes along with food being my number one priority during pregnancy is an unfortunate side effect mostly for my husband: sometimes needing a certain food RIGHT THIS SECOND. I always used to think those people who posted their food on facebook were pretty gross. Um, hi I don't need to see your half eaten tacos from Chuy's but thanks. Now, I find myself immediately thinking - oh gosh, if I don't get my hands on a taco in 20 minutes, the world may end.

I'm still in that stage where the baby bump is not really big enough to be cute but it's big enough to notice and have people just assume I've been hitting the beef sliders too hard. As much as I loathe the weight gain, I'm actually looking forward to having a baby bump that is definitely without a doubt a baby bump. I'm 5 lbs up and climbing and if I make those sliders again tonight, I just might pop.