Big Mama Taylor Blog

Big Mama Taylor Blog

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Two year old time bomb

EhrrrmiGod I always want to blog more, but I don't know what happens and the day just melts away. In the early morning hours I have big dreams to check off my entire to-do list from 1-4, mop the floors, write a blog, take a bath and figure out why I cannot get rid of my saddle bags. I truly don't know what ends up happening during these hours but it's a mix of wandering around the house in a daze from eating a lot of cheese, half-heartedly loading the dishwasher, watching the Real Housewives and other nonsense that is amazing, and putting things in my shopping bag online that I pretend to get. It's like ghost retail therapy and it soothes me.

But Lord help me with my current afternoon issue. My 4 year old has completely given up his nap. I guess this is to be expected, kids don't nap until they're 18? But his entire life, he has been an every day, 3-4 hour napper. Of course he went through the typical stages where he would fight it or not nap here and there but he really was the sleeping champ. He does not nap anymore, but I have always said that I still expect him to go in his room and "rest." I believe every kid needs this time that doesn't include Ipads, television, or even talking really. Letting their mind rest is important, and by golly, momma has to have her Real Housewives time or I am gonna lose my marbles.

Which brings me to losing my marbles. So my Brooks used to pretty much obey me and "rest" quietly from about 1-4. I guess in retrospect that was pretty awesome but I just expected it and didn't think much of it. Well now his imagination is running wild at all times and we are entering a little clingy phase, and he comes out about every 7 1/2 minutes with some new excuse, question, or comment. I would be more amused with the insane excuses he comes up with if I weren't so exhausted. Some urgent nap time issues lately include:
1. He is king of the dinosaur village, but he realizes he does not have a queen. He comes in to tell me that he does not want to get married. Um, you're 49 months old. Go to bed.
2. His stomach hurts and he isn't sure if it's because he had 3 hard boiled eggs within 20 minutes or he has to poop. Lawd help me why did I let you eat the eggs, it's both of those issues.
3. He wants to cuddle. So I am a horribly witchy mom if I don't say yes right? Because immediately after I will read about 52 pinterest pins or facebook statuses about appreciating the moment or how in four seconds I will blink and they will be 15 and not want to cuddle with me ever again. Why is this so hard and why do I want to scratch my eyes out?
4. He wants me to know that Pteranodons were actually not dinosaurs but lived in the same time period. He is worried that I didn't know this and needed to make sure that I had this information.

Good. Lord. Being a mom is so. dang. hard. It takes the patience of Jobe. It takes every bit of physical energy I might have after dragging my haggard mom body to pilates. It takes all the kindness I have left in my body so much that when my husband gets home all I have left in me is to pat him on the head and maybe ruffle his hair. I know I should appreciate the moments. They're fleeting, and my kids are sweet, growing little raggamuffins that I miss when I am not with them.

But
But
But

I am so darn tired.

In addition to my no-napping 4 year old, my 2 year old literally wakes up from his nap the crankiest human alive. Seriously, take the crankiest person you have EVER met in your ENTIRE life and times it by about 73. He is spitting nails and the only way to remedy him out of it is to cuddle him in just the right cradling manner while also whispering him promises of mickey mouse clubhouse and as many bananas as he wants. If your octave is too high in your voice or you get out of rythym just slightly he is liable to blow. He is a tiny ticking time bomb. So today he wakes up in his usual grumpy old man mood and as I am coddling him, and my 4 year old mumbles under his breath, "what is he like the Queen of England?" TRUTH. But at the same time I so afraid to mess with this little dragon who is breathing fire.

So as a result of the no-napper and answering questions ever 7-9 minutes during the afternoon hours + the addition of the toddler who wakes up as the devil from his nap, the hours between 3 and 6 feel like about 82 days, roughly. As I wrap up this blog my kids are awake and the cranky one is writhing on the floor, and the 4 year old just told me he is scared of me because my face is shiny.

But it's ok because the 42 minutes until my husband gets home are going to go super quickly! Carry on mommas.
-Big Mama Taylor






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