Why I would be precious at being a royal

I love these e-cards that are all over pinterest. I have pinned dozens of them but this one ranks right up there as one of my favorites, mostly because it's so darn true. I just know I would be such a good millionaire! I would probably give at least some of it away, so you better be happy if you're one of my good friends because if I ever win the lottery you can expect I'd have some sort of money-giving-away party.

Even more than this e-card, however, I do know one thing is for sure, and that it's in another life, I should definitely be a Royal. Yes. The kind that lives in England and is related to the queen. I have never been a Royal, but I just know I would be darling at it!

Ok here's the real story. I have become slightly obsessed with Princess Kate. Like, if her people were "looking into me" because of the amount of times I have checked up on whether she has had her baby or not, I would not be totally shocked. If her hospital was in the same city as mine, let's just say I would have made a really good janitor/nurse type friend at said hospital that would let me in to visit her immediately after she delivered, because obviously we would be best friends if we met, I just know it. Will and Zac would just sit around talking football, and I would give her tons of baby advice like how it's ok if food drops on the ground and the baby eats it if it's within a reasonable amount of time, or how it's ok to have a beer while breastfeeding because it helps with letdown. Classy, helpful stuff like that. We would have to learn how to play cricket I suppose but that's fine. We would be the cutest couples! But first, I would need to be a Royal and this is why I would be darling at it.

1. I have a face for the people. I am pretty sure I just have a really relate-able face. Not too jarring, not too striking, just your every day, loveable-princessy type of face. See below, that's my sister and I waiting on my mom and other sister in a Talbots over vacation. If I were the princess wouldn't you be all "gosh there she is, Princess Sarah being so normal! Don't you love her?!"

2. I look really good in a hat. Like wow, really good. See above. Nuff said.

3. I could drink tea in the afternoon. I actually don't love tea but I do know how to raise my pinky. Hey, I could drink a dirty martini at 3 p.m. if it's in a castle, whatever. But I really do love biscuits and I am pretty sure they give you biscuits with the tea.

4. My scandalous times are behind me, and I'm ready to be classy. Yes it's true. My days of drinking wine out of the bag (that comes in the box) are behind me, mostly because I have 2 children and having even a slight hangover with children is both the most awful and trashy feeling of all time. So I've decided to be classy until I'm at least 48ish and they're out of the house. If I were a royal, I would strongly consider extending that time and I think I could be classy longer, otherwise the papers will have it out for me and we can't have that! But people would appreciate that I have overcome some hurdles so I'm assuming my previous scandals would be "cute" and "what makes Princess Sarah approachable."

5. That accent would be precious on me. I am sooo good at accents so it would be super easy to learn. (Truth, every accent for every country is the same and they all sound like a confused person from India). I could be like Madonna, spend a few months over there and bam, cutest accent ever.

Since I already married my prince I guess my only shot at becoming a royal in this life is to become best friends with Princess Kate, which is already in my plans anyway. I just have to figure out how to get over there and set up a play date, because then I would be in. Between my precious monsters and superb mothering advice, it would probably be mere days before they name us Honorary Royals!

Hold that baby in Princess Kate I'm coming!