Since Zac is in training camp I traveled to the wedding solo. I have gotten pretty used to hitting all my weddings alone with a hubby who has an intense work schedule. It's not my favorite, but I have to say, when you live in a world catering to 2 toddlers all day, you can find the joy in the little things pretty easily. While I would have rather waited in the airport with my hand on my handsome hubby's thigh, asking him where he would want to go if he could go anywhere in the world, I was very happy to sit at Gate E4 and not have to get anybody goldfish or wipe a booger.
My mom taught me something very important a long time ago and it was that when you get a break from the kids, be thankful, and don't wish it away. She is so right. In the early stages with our first child, Brooks, I would spend a night away with my husband looking at pictures the entire time and retelling the story about how he blinked and he was probably going to be the smartest baby ever. I would spend the entire break I got pining for the smell of my baby, and rush in the door only to realize 10 minutes later that I already wanted another break. What?! How did this happen? When I was gone I missed him so bad.
Well I got wise. I love my kids and I love my job being a mom. But gosh darnet everyone needs a break to make sure their brain is still working and not stuck on macaroni auto pilot. So now, when someone asks how my kids are, I pretend I can't hear them tell them quickly that they are doing wonderfully, and I get my mom butt to the wedding dance floor where it belongs. I talk about fashion, and things I will never wear. I talk about the Real Housewives, because frankly there's nobody in my house who I can talk to about that. There is no shame in enjoying the kid-free time, and I now treat alone trips to the grocery store like they are weekend excursions to Vegas. Because in the grand scheme of my current life, they kinda are. So if you see me skipping down the aisles in Publix, sorry I'm not sorry. I am having the time of my life.
Yes I love my boys. Yes I love to stay home with them, and devote my entire life to their evolvement. However, the following are a few things that I noted on my weekend getaway that are the best parts of getting a break from mommyhood....
A) 2 hands on the coffee mug: My kids can spend 20 minutes straight not needing my attention in the morning but the second they see me pick up my scorching cup of hot coffee they are both hanging off my leg like I have been missing for 72 hours. I am also now at the stage with crazy boys where I have turned around with a cup of hot coffee in my hand to a boy screaming "Mom catch!" Catch a football, catch a dinasour, catch a handful of blocks. Catch this shirt that I accidentally peed all over (working on aim here people). Just catch. We expect you to catch this crap while you hold your coffee. Oh and it's not even 7 a.m. yet so look alive sista. Both mornings while I was away, I held my coffee cup with a death grip and 2 hands out of habit. I realized this the first morning as I looked down and noticed the white knuckles surrounding my sweet coffee. So I took a moment and cried silently, happily into my coffee. I talked to it a little bit and told it how much I loved it. And I drank the whole thing. While it was hot. Then I cried some more.
B) Sleeping is glorious: Pretty sure I am not the only household that is like this. I wake to the sound of one of my children's nose hairs moving out of place. Yes. Just the wind, moving a nose hair, will wake me up. My husband could sleep through a tsunami from our pool in our backyard. Every night. This is not to say he is a bad husband. With both children, he gave me breaks at my hormonal tipping point anytime I needed, sleeping in the guest room so that he could hear the baby cry while I soaked up my first 5 hours of straight sleep in months. He could see the writing on the wall when he would come home from work and I would tell him how I would probably have to murder him in his sleep if I didn't get to string together a nap. He did it all in the name of a sane wife and he never once said no to helping me. But goodness gracious where do I learn how to sleep like a husband? I have had both children screaming in the night and I wake up in a complete panic, completely drenched in sweat (when do the hormones stop?), running to their bedroom before I am even aware my body is moving. Meanwhile, my husband is in the deepest REM sleep of his life, sleeping with an actual smile on his face. I have no idea how he pulls this off. Of course I have woken him up, only to yell at him for sleeping so wonderfully. I am jealous and it's all I can do not to scream right in his ear that his children are awake. But I'll handle it. Just wanted him to be aware of this 2 a.m. situation. However, when I travel, those itty bitty voices and sneezes and crying are no longer there. It's just me, and a bed. And covers I didn't have to wash or change. So I pull the blankets up to my chin, and I breathe a huge sigh of relief, for tonight I will get one REM cycle of sleep. And it will be magical.
C) Wardrobe Options: You really don't know living until you are getting dressed and think, ahhh, I don't have to worry if anyone is going to smear peanut butter on this outfit! Who cares if I can't even bend over in these jeans - I won't have to pick up a 40 lb bag of sugar 100 times today! I can wear whatever I want!! Before I had kids, I truly thought that I would be that mom at the park in the cute silk sundress, gold flats, hair perfectly curled in tendrils with just enough lipgloss one swipe of mascara. Less than 1 year in I owned so many yoga pants I could probably go 3 months and still be in a clean rotation. My mascara is either non existent or weeks old and crusted on there for life. Listen people, playing at the park I get SWEATY, and I need clothes that can ABSORB MOISTURE, or else mama ain't gonna be happy. On any typical errand, someone is more likely to puke or spit on me then they are likely to NOT puke or spit on me. So gross, unwashed, outdated workout clothes are just the smarter option. Dreams of being a cute mom are gone. I am workout mom, and there is a solid chance I am going to flick my kids booger off of my top, and wear this shirt again tomorrow.
D) Haha. That's not my kid game: One of my favorite things to do in these travel situations is actually find children in total and complete meltdown mode and watch for 10-15 seconds, just to remind myself how lucky I am in that moment. Because I have been in said meltdown situations, I feel I can do this without sounding like a horrible person. I have had my younger child completely melt down on a bathroom floor, flailing his body around like a tornado, swirling and slowly mopping up every germ on the bathroom floor, in a bathroom so gross you consider not actually going to the bathroom because you fear you might actually touch a microscopic part of the door or toilet or sink. My kid has been the swiffer of a public restroom. I have watched Brooks rest a lollipop on the rim of the toilet seat in a restaurant bathroom, and pick it back up to eat. In my defense I was changing Luke on a changing table and I could not leave the child abandoned. And yes, I yelled "Don't eat the lollipop." Last fall I traveled with Brooks and Luke alone to Oklahoma and Brooks ate old chewing gum out of the barf bag in our seat. I asked him where he got the gum, and he said, it was in this present bag they left for us. OMG. You think that 20/20 special on what's really lurking on the hotel comforters is gross? This isn't even 1/10 of my germ stories. Throw me a gallon of that hand sanitizer because I have earned this judgement. And I will help you get on the plane with your crazy animals because I have been there.
Next time you are alone out in that big world alone Mamas, dress the part. Wear the jeans that you can't sweat in. Drink your coffee slowly and peacefully. Catch those Zzzs hard. And be glad that's not your kid who is biting you on the shoulder while you board your plane. This is your time sister. Enjoy it.
xoxo Big Mama
P.S. I had a few gal pals message me asking where we got the robes we wore to get ready. They were a gift from the bride and I LOVE them! Thought they were so fun and different. Jenni told me they were from the new Anthropologie Bridal line, which I am now obsessed with. The patterns are different but here is a link to the robes they currently have. Anthro Bridesmaid Robe
I love this!!!
ReplyDeleteI want to sleep like a husband...sigh.